Hi there! This happened more than 10 years ago, but I’ve always wondered who was right. I (female) bought a used motorcycle with my own money and my boyfriend at the time went with me to check it out. As we were talking to the seller, she mentioned that she had recently upgraded the pipes. My boyfriend asked if she still had the old pipes. She did. So he asked her if she would include the pipes in the purchase. She agreed! So when I paid several thousand dollars in cash for the motorcycle, it also came with a spare set of pipes worth a few hundred dollars.
My boyfriend took the pipes home and started taking pictures of them to put them for sale on Craigslist. I said that was good thinking on his part to ask for the pipes and that I would be happy to give him a cut of the sale. He said absolutely not, the pipes were HIS because we wouldn’t have them if he hadn’t asked for them. I said the pipes were actually MINE because we wouldn’t have them without my paying for the bike. I did, however, believe that he should be compensated for coming up with the idea, so I offered a 50/50 split. It turned into a huge argument and I finally relented and let him have the pipes and 100% of the proceeds from the sale (a few hundred dollars).
Although I could kind of see his side, I always felt like he bullied me into giving him those pipes. We aren’t together anymore, but curious as to which of us was the AH.
EDIT:
1. It’s not that I didn’t care about the pipes, it just didn’t occur to me that she might still have them after putting on the new ones.
2. When he initially asked for them, I thought he was looking out for me and getting them for us to keep as spares.
3. It wasn’t until we got home and he started taking pictures of them that I found out he planned to sell them.
4. I’m not still upset about this, nor do I think of it very often…as many of you pointed out it’s ancient history regarding an ex-boyfriend. Just one of those "grey areas" where I’ve always wondered who was right. Thanks so much for your feedback and interesting (sometimes hilarious) responses! It’s been fun!
You are NTA, you paid for them, and the offer of 50/50 was generous of you. I hope he is an EX boyfriend at this point.
Imo you were NTA.
Put as bluntly as possible, you paid for them, so you owned them. Legally, he shouldn’t even have considered selling them without making sure YOU wanted to sell them, and then maybe offering his services for a cut of the profits. Just because he’s the one who mentioned it, and you wouldn’t have even had them if he hadn’t asked, doesn’t alter the fact that they were never his, and he did not own them.
No wonder you didn’t stick with him! Cheeky beggar!
NTA, he was out of line for sure. I think personally even giving him 50/50 was exceptionally generous of you. He doesn’t sound worth the trouble
NTA.
YOU PAID FOR THE PIPES, and your offer to split the proceeds 50/50 was more than fair. He is/was an AH.
Your 50/50 offer was generous. The price you paid to learn who he was one of your absolute best bargains ever.
Legally, I’m pretty sure those would be your property because you paid for them, and his having negotiated to get them included would be worth $0.00.
Morally, it’s not quite as simple as that. I think it’s hard to say exactly what a fair split would have been to reward him for spotting the opportunity while recognizing that the item was 100% purchased with your money.
However, I think we *can* say with certainty that 50/50 is a reasonable guess, and 0/100 in favor of the finder/negotiator is ludicrous and not within the realm of appropriate answers. So NTA and that guy was being a major one.
NTA. Legally you owned the pipes because you furnished the money and he did nothing to alter the pipes using expertise, etc.
Potentially morally, it’d be nice to give him a small cut. 50/50 was beyond generous. He fully bullied you. Glad you’re no longer together, because he sounds like a steamroller.
NTA: You wouldn’t have the pipes to sell without his negotiating. He wouldn’t have had the pipes to sell without your purchase of the motorcycle. A 50/50 split recognises that you wouldn’t have had the additional cash without each other’s contribution.
This is a very succinct way of describing exactly how I felt about the situation.
50/50 is pretty typical when someone finances a deal while the other person does all the work. The dude is delusional.
I think this is where the English makes a difference. He did not just ask if HE could have them he asked them to be included with the purchase. There for the pipes were part of her purchase! So they belong to O.P. Not the ex bf. Matter of fact he was in the wrong for assuming to sell them without first asking her if it was cool. NTA
Jesus fucking Christ, you paid for the pipes and he stole them from you. I’m glad you dumped his thieving ass.
This is like a person who tags along to subway with you and you both get sandwiches and it’s time to pay and they hand the cashier a 2 for 1 coupon and leave while you pay bc technically their sandwich is the free one. NTA and I wouldn’t be surprised to hear you broke up bc he was comically selfish in other ways too.
The seller threw them in in order to make the sale. You paid the money. They belonged to you.
It would have been somewhat churlish to take 100% of the money yourself, since your bf did in fact “get them” for you. Some kind of split would have been fair.