For context, I (16F) have my own part-time job. I barely make £100 per month (this will be important later).
My dad is currently doing a PhD on international fees in the UK, so we’re currently paying upwards of £17,000 per year for 4 years, as well as my subsidised fees (90% bursary) for my attendance at a private sixth form (academic scholarship). My dad has no job (he’s been unemployed since COVID) and my mum is an assistant teacher, which is barely enough money to pay for all of this, including rent, and their savings can only go so far. I understand this. I always have. We’ve been tight on money since I was 11, when my dad lost his job. But we were doing okay because we weren’t paying outrageous university fees, and a result, we’re now worse off. One of the reasons I got a job was so I wouldn’t have to burden my parents and be able to pay for my own things with my own money. I’m not one to mindlessly spend my money on material things, but unfortunately, clothes are expensive. I wanted to buy a hoodie from Urban Outfitters as I want a few more clothes, so I told my mum I was buying a hoodie and splitting it into 3 monthly payments (using Klarna) so I had to pay £15 upfront. Apparently, she took this as the cost being £15 as a whole and not £45.
This morning, when I went downstairs to get ready for school, she called my name.
This is how it went.
M: *calls my name*
Me: Yes?
M: Are you out of your mind? You spent £45 on the hoodie? You know about our financial situation and you’re going around spending £45? I thought it was £15!
Me: I told you it was 3 monthly payments?
M: I thought you meant it was £15 in total.
Me: Okay, I’ll cancel it!
M: Seriously, in our financial state?
Me: I said I’ll cancel it!
I went quiet after that and just ignored her. I don’t understand, it’s my money. As I said, I barely make £100 per month, so it’s not a significant amount that could go towards aiding my parents in their finances. They might ask me to pop to the supermarket a few times to buy something they’ve forgotten, but that doesn’t even amount to £10 most times.
I guess she didn’t like the fact I got upset, because she asked me why I was in a mood, in a bit of a harsh tone. I didn’t reply and just ignored her, pretending I didn’t hear her (I’m deaf). She then repeated what she had said before about our financial situation and why would I spend £45 and she really thought it was £15, albeit in a softer tone.
We did talk normally after that (we take the bus together) but I’m still frustrated and it dampened my mood as that wasn’t a great start to my morning, and I keep thinking about it, even on the bus, even in school.
So, Reddit, AITA?
I do understand if I’m in the wrong, I just don’t think my mum gave me sufficient explanation and thus am turning to Reddit for an unbiased explanation of my actions.
Thank you.
Edit: It seems some of you are confused and I should’ve given further context. My parents are not deadbeats, nor self-centered. In fact, the only reason my father is doing a PhD is so my brother and I can have a better future in terms of our education and careers by staying in the UK. He is not doing this because he is a selfish academic, nor because he doesn’t care for his children. Same goes for my mother. He is trying to find a job, but he is 62 and his age has been a barrier for the 6 years he’s been trying to find a job. He did his MA back in 2022 and still could not find a job. He has a myriad of experience in his field and this is no fault of his own, merely something he cannot control.
Edit 2: Thank you for all your responses. They are helpful. One thing I would like to clear up again – my father is trying to find a job as a teacher assistant but is waiting on a reply. He also cannot do certain jobs as some of you have suggested since he has low stamina due to his age and present health issues. A teacher is quite sedentary in their movements so it is a more suitable role for him.