I (20s) went on a trip with my friend (also 20s) in September 2024. At the end of the trip, she forgot her sunglasses at the place we stayed.
Since she went back to her city first and I went back to mine, I took the sunglasses home with me so I could give them back later. I immediately told her she’d forgotten them, told her I had them, and she thanked me.
In February 2025, she asked me about the sunglasses, and I confirmed they were still at my house. I never used them or touched them after the trip because they aren’t mine, I left them in their case in my dresser.
Fast forward to now: she came to my city to visit. She mentioned the sunglasses, and I said I’d need to look for them because I hadn’t touched them since the trip. While we were at the mall together, she commented that I needed to find them because she loved those glasses, and even joked to the salespeople that if she didn’t find them, she’d have an excuse to buy new ones.
A few days later, she stayed over at my house but didn’t mention the sunglasses again until after she left. A few hours later, she messaged me asking me to look for them because she really wanted them back.
I searched my house, gathered every pair of sunglasses I could find, and sent her pictures so she could identify them. She then sent me a picture of the exact model (Ray-Ban Wayfarer) and none of the glasses I found matched it.
I had told her before that last year my bedroom closets and cabinets were renovated, so all my things were taken out and reorganized during that process.
After that, she sent me voice messages crying, saying the sunglasses were very sentimental to her in addition to being expensive, and asking me to look again.
I told her I wasn’t home at the moment, but that when I got back after the weekend I’d search again with my mom, although I was pretty sure I had already found all the glasses we had.
She then sent another message, saying that if she had known the sunglasses would be “so badly taken care of,” she would have asked me to mail them to her back then. This upset me, because she’s the one who forgot them, I kept them safe (as far as I knew), never used them, and she waited almost 2 years to want them back urgently.
I replied saying that if I had known they were that important or sentimental to her, I would’ve stored them differently or mailed them to her, but that she never communicated that before. I also told her I can’t afford to buy a replacement pair, and obviously can’t replace sentimental value, but what I can do is give her one of my own sunglasses (which are cheaper) as a “replacement”.
She hasn’t responded yet, but this whole situation is very upsetting to me, and I want to know if I am in the wrong, and how I can make this right.
AITA?
NTA you went above and beyond keeping them as long as you did. She abandoned them plain and simple. Don’t feel bad, she’s being ridiculous.
There’s a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode about this. Larry David would say NTA.
NTA, if she really cared about them that much she would’ve asked you to ship them to her after the initial discussion or at least disclosed what they meant to her during the initial discussion.
NTA. If they were this important to her she would never have left them behind, or would have been happy to pay for the cost of having them packed, insured and mailed to her when you told her you had them.
If she is willing to blow up your friendship over sunglasses she never tried to get back for 2 years, she isn’t really a friend.
NTA:
She’s doing a great job of making her problem into your problem.
NTA
If they were that important, you both would have arranged to mail them back
NTA. First, If they were so special to her, how’d she forget them in the first place?
Second, when you told her you had them why didn’t she ask you to mail them and she’d reimburse you?
NTA this is why it sucks to do nice things for some people. You did her the favor of holding on to sunglasses she forgot multiple times but now she’s going to spin it as your fault the glasses she couldn’t be bothered to remember to get is your problem. You didn’t lose them, she left them behind and then continually forgot about them. If she really cared about them she would have asked you to mail them back years ago. She sounds very high maintenance. Does she often blame others for situations she started that don’t go well?
ESH, OP should have a mailed these sunglasses to her friend. Friend should have asked OP to ship her sunglasses and offered to cover the costs.
she sent you a video crying about sunglasses? NTA. is it possible she’s experiencing some mental health issues that might have caused her to overreact like that? maybe this is a matter of projection or something? maybe she lost something herself recently or is going through some issues in her life that are causing her to lash out at you. an adult sending a video of themselves crying about sunglasses is fairly concerning, mental health-wise.
also 2 years.
Nta if she wanted them back she would have asked you to send them to her. 2 years later I would charge her for storage.
NTA – if they mattered that much she wouldn’t have waited 2 years.
INFO- are you sure, yourself, that the picture of the expensive Raybans she sent you are, in fact, the ones she left behind?
I would go through the ones you have found, and make sure that they are all glasses you know are yours, and your “friend” isnt trying to get you to foot the bill on a new pair that are more expensive that what she lost. And if you hadn’t picked them up for her, she likely wouldn’t have gotten them back anyway…
And she hasn’t replaced them in two years? Something more is going on.