Context – My dad had an affair baby or something when I was about 4. The kid started to come over to my house when I was around 14. He’d stay over weekends or more if his mom went on a trip or whatever.
My Mom is very cool with the situation, which was always to my surprise. I try not to be mad on her behalf since how can I be more upset than she is. But I still always hated it for myself and both my parents know that. My mom respects it, my dad is always pushy about it. Which I find Ironic it’s like he’s trying to punish me, for a problem he created, and got away with. But regardless I keep it cordial with him we honestly just don’t interact or talk, so it’s not like he thinks I hate him or anything. Keep it peaceful
Anyway for the past almost 2 years my best friend (who’ve I known since I was 5, and has been over at my house just as much if not more than my half brother.) have been planning to take a trip to Europe on my 19th or 20th birthday we’ve saved up somewhat enough money to get like the most bare minimum trip but it would’ve been a trip. (And my parents know this)
My 20th birthday is in a week. My Parents just told me they’d be taking me to Paris WITH my Half Brother for my birthday.
Which in general would be amazing and I’d save money, but in this case it’s basically them Hijacking my plans to do it in a way I did not want, and claiming it’s a gift. I obviously want to go with my childhood best friend, it was our plan to begin with, shit I basically consider him my brother or at least the closest thing to it.
I’m considering asking them to let my Friend go instead of him, considering it’s my present I should be able to get it how I want it. If they say no we can just use our own money and go to a different city and have fun ourselves.
I hate to rock the boat, and I feel like I’ve done a good job playing nice but I really want to speak up in this situation cause honestly it feels rather insidious. WIBTA?
If you need more details ask I got tired of typing lol
NTA.
If they try to force you to accept him, go on vacation by yourself, or just cancel it. Send them the message that you do NOT accept your father’s affair.
Decline the trip altogether
Just go with your friend. It will be more fun and less stressful for you.
You should go on the vacation you want. Thank your parents for the offer, but insist that you are moving forward with the trip you planned with your friend.
With that said: It seems like you’re angry at your half-brother for being an affair baby as if he had any control over that. He didn’t. He’s your brother. Treat him with kindness.
Or at least treat him with civility. Be real with dad though, he sounds like a selfish asshole who doesn’t care who he hurts.
Decline the trip, and go with your friend on your own
Not sure why people are dragging you since you said you were civil and polite to your brother. You do not have to be besties with him, just civil, and you are.
Frankly, your parents-and I’m including your mom-put you all in a shitty situation. Your mom should have left your dad
Yes, but leaving would have impacted HER financial situation. Tell your parents “Thanks, but no thanks.” You are not obligated to accept a ‘gift’ that you are not interested in receiving.
edited for spelling
> Your mom should have left your dad
Come on, you can’t say shit like that. Just because that’s what you’d do in that situation doesn’t mean it’s what everyone should do. Dad did a shitty thing and we don’t know how they dealt with it. But half-brother is here now regardless, and he doesn’t deserve to be treated as a pariah. This isn’t a shitty situation unless the family makes it so.
OP’s parents worked it out, and that’s their choice. That poor kid is not at fault, and also deserves a family. That being said, OP is under no obligation to be close with him; anything less than civility would be cruel.
“Sorry, this is my friend’s and my dream trip. I can’t and won’t do it without him. Mom and dad, if you want to join our trip, that would be ok; however, that’s as much expansion that we are willing to add.” And if they try to push beyond that, don’t argue. Just tell them that maybe they can join the next one.
NAH except dad. You planned a trip with your friend, that you intended to pay for. There’s nothing wrong with that.
Parents’ money comes with the stipulation that half-brother goes, too. If you don’t like that condition, don’t accept the money/trip. Do not ask them to pay for your friend to come instead of half-brother. That money isn’t yours to spend how you choose.
If you went on your parents trip before going with your friend, you’re doing him a disservice. It would be his 1st time, but your 2nd and that makes a difference. Let your parents know that they’ve KNOWN about your plans to go with him for years, but are now trying to take that experience away from you…YWNBTA.
While a free trip to Paris sounds great, they are hijacking your plans; not a good look mom & dad!
Why not see if they would be okay with including your bestie along with the family?
Are you spending your money on the trip? If not, do both.
Go to Paris and be civil… and awestruck.
Then visit a different city/country with your friend.
If anything you will pick up tips to make your dream vacation smoother.
NAH.
This.
They want to take you on a family trip to Paris. That’s wonderful. Go on their dime and eat fancier food and have your museum entry paid for.
Then go with your friend another time and stay in hostels and drink lots of beer.
You said you and your friend planned this for your 19th or 20th birthday. Frankly, I think a trip to Europe can be celebrated at any time.
NTA but assuming you had planned on more than one country in Europe why not consider the family trip as a stepping stone to the rest of your European experience – let them pay for the airfares as offered, spend the Paris portion with them and then head off with your friend with a healthier budget because you did need to cover airfares