Throwaway just in case because my siblings have reddit
So I(17M) Have a crush on my sister’s(sister is 19) friend(friend is 20) For context, my sister and I have had problems before that make it so I don’t really trust her too well.
Two of the reasons being once I jokingly called her a dumb bitch(cussing isn’t really a big deal with our mom) I do regret it as in the moment I forgot she asked me not to call her a bitch, so in that I was wrong. After that she went to hit me and had threatened to in the past she only didn’t hit after I said I’d tell our mom and call the police.
The other reason being she just straight up told my first actul crush I liked her with me right there.
I’ll refer to my sisters friend as A and my sister as K
I really like A, she talks a lot and I don’t really talk much besides a few things I’m interested in, so I really love how it feels like she could talk forever. She’s really nice, funny, and drop dead gorgeous.
I don’t really know how my sister would react, I’ve told our mom, and our older brother but I told them not to tell her.
I don’t want to upset my sister but I also have a small part of me that hopes she wouldn’t be upset
Sorry for bad grammar
So WIBTA?
NTA. Don’t tell her. She’ll let the girl know just to embarrass you. Chances are the girl would not be interested because of the age gap anyway. If you don’t remove the mention of violence your post will get deleted,
I don’t think there is any reason share this with anyone. Give the age difference it would be illegal for you and she to date right now anyway. This is a non issue.
I agree this is a non issue (OP, spoiler alert, it’s not going to happen) but It’s not “illegal” for a 17 year old to date a 20 year old in the vast vast majority of states (39 out of 50). It may be squicky. But not illegal.
You wouldn’t be the asshole but I don’t see many good outcomes coming from telling her. It’d be different of she was a loving supportive sister, but she doesn’t seem to be from what you said. And it’s not like you have much of a chance as a 17 year old with a 20 year old
I was always really nice to my friends little brother–because he was my friend’s little brother. I don’t know anything about this particular situation, but I’d bet big money that this question is irrelevant because she would never date you. Just appreciate you have a friend who you have some nice talks with and leave it at that.
I wouldn’t call you an asshole as much as I would call you a dumbass if you did that. What good do you think would come from telling her? You have an awful relationship with your sister, best to stay away from her and her friends.
YWBTA. Whether or not your sister asked you not to call her the “b” word, you shouldn’t be calling ANY woman that word. This is your sister’s friend. And she’s 20. She isn’t going to say yes. But you will hear about it from your sister if you say anything to her or her friend.
What good would it do to tell your sister? This could only cause problems
NTA, but don’t tell her. Given her history of leaking your secrets and your volatile relationship, she is more likely to use this information as drama or ammunition than to be supportive.
Keep it to yourself for now to avoid the inevitable awkwardness she would cause between you and her friend.
Keep this crush to yourself and instead work on yourself and your relationship with your sister.
NAH. You’re not an asshole for having a crush on someone. Your sister wouldn’t be an asshole for getting pissed at you “trying to take her friend”. Given what you’ve described of the relationship, she’s unlikely to react positively so you have to decide what’s more important: your relationship with your sister, or shooting your shot with the friend
Yes, you would be. Why would you tell your sister you have a crush on her friend unless you’re wanting to let the friend know. Look kid, it’s normal for you to have a crush like this, but there’s almost 0 chance she’s going to feel the same way at this point in time. She’s 20, you’re 17 and her friend’s little bro. In 5-10 years you might have a shot.
INFO: why would you tell your sister?
ngl your chances of bagging the crush are slim but if they exist at all that’s between you and the crush (and laws in your location depending on where it goes)
telling your sister serves pretty much no purpose besides drama
you’re young so this is hard advice maybe but just chill, time resolves most situations one way or another