AITA for "breaking" into my sister’s house in the middle of the night to take back the items my niece "Amy" 13F stole from me? No one knew I went over and I’m not sure if I should gaslight/blackmail my niece, or tell her parents.
I was watching my sister’s kids, 4F, 11M, and 13F "Amy", and we did things during the day and watched a movie at my place at night, and then took them home. As I was getting ready for bed sometime after midnight I noticed a few things missing in my washroom, my new pimple patch box was open and half gone and two new Charlotte Tilbury lipsticks were gone, so total cost is less than $50. I knew right away Amy took them because she is now into makeup products and she mentioned both items in passing while we were hanging out. But she did not ask me to have either. Her family is not cash strapped, and when asked I don’t have issues buying things that are appropriate for her age or giving her hand-me-downs, but we try not to spoil kids, especially with brands.
Once I discovered the items missing, I drove over to my sister’s house to get them back. I have access to their house and I knew no one would wake up. In my mind, taking it back in secret was better than telling my sister what happened. Also, at the upcoming family dinner I was going to bring up that I’m missing things and I was going to check my cameras and call the police. Or that I would take her aside and blackmail her into being a better kid, I took a photo of my items in her room. I haven’t said anything to my sister yet because I’m not sure what I should do. I also thought of taking her to the police station to see me file a report so she understands how serious this is, but I would ask the police first before trying to teach her a lesson.
She’s not a troubled kid, but this is troubling!
So did I overreact, and what do I do now?
Yta for breaking into their house in the middle of the night. That’s a strange way to handle it and talking about blackmailing her. I don’t think this is real. If it is you might need professional help.
ESH. Amy is in the wrong for stealing from you. You’re in the wrong for breaking into your sister’s house. It’s less than $50, so why not confront your niece or talk to your sister about it? You say your niblings aren’t problem kids, so why not have Amy return it, apologize, and learn that stealing is bad?
Are you sure you are not a troubled kid yourself? When do you
need to break into their house or even gaslight/blackmail a little girl over this? You could talk to your niece first, blackmailing was never an option.
This is such a weird and inappropriate response that I don’t think it can be real. YTA if it is though, if you’re old enough to babysit three kids then you’re old enough to know not to break into someone’s home.
YTA for breaking into someone’s house and considering gaslighting/blackmail as a suitable consequence for a child.
but you’re NTA for wanting your things back.
A normal functioning adult would have told the parents, they should make her apologise and give it back, and then moving forward she’s a known thief and babysitting should happen in their own house.
You weren’t wrong to want your things back, but the bigger issue here is teaching, not punishing. She is 13, this is exactly the age where kids test boundaries, and how adults react matters a lot. A calm conversation with her parents will probably do more good than fear or threats. If she understands why it was wrong and is given a chance to make it right, that lesson will stick much longer than any punishment. Focus on guidance, not escalation
‘AITA for “breaking” into my sister’s house in the middle of the night to take back the items my niece “Amy” 13F stole from me? No one knew I went over and I’m not sure if I should gaslight/blackmail my niece, or tell her parents.’
Yes, YTA. This behaviour is deranged. If your neice takes your stuff, you talk to the parents. You don’t break into their home and try to think up ways to abuse your neice.
YTA. I have serious questions about whether this story is true, but, if so, breaking into a house in the middle of the night is a crime. It taught your niece nothing, but, if you tell them what you did, it sure will teach your sister and her family that you’re a sick person. You want to blackmail a 13 year old? Take her to the police station? I don’t think a 13 year old taking stuff from her aunt is anywhere near as troubling as breaking into a home in the night. Your niece needs to be talked to about the theft, but, given your own actions, you’re certainly not the person to do it.
I really hope this story is BS.
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YTA for overreacting. And breaking in at night while everyone was sleeping. That is absolutly creepy.
Talk to your niece that you know she stole from you and if she is doing it again, you will tell her mom. But also ask her, why she took them. Maybe there are resaons (bullyng because of pimples and little make up and she doesn’t want her parents to get involved)
What Charlotte tilbury lipsticks are you buying for less than $25 each? Those prices don’t add up.
YTA
You can’t excuse burglary by saying it’s family. It’s wrong and a HUGE violation of privacy and trust.
You could’ve simply told your sister and she could’ve gone in your niece’s room and found the items. Why was that not your first thought?