I share a dorm room with my roommate, and it’s been really frustrating. I try to keep my space relatively clean and organized because clutter stresses me out and makes it harder for me to focus, especially when I’m doing school work or trying to relax.
My roommate constantly leaves their stuff everywhere, especially clothes they’ve already worn. I’ve told them multiple times that it’s disgusting and that I don’t want piles of their worn clothes around, but they keep doing it. They’ll dump clothes on the floor, chairs, or even on my side of the room instead of putting them away or in the laundry. Sometimes it’s just random items like bags, shoes, or empty bottles, and it all piles up really fast.
The worst part is that it usually happens when I’m trying to do school work. I’ll be sitting at my desk or on my bed studying, and suddenly there’s a pile of their stuff in my way. It’s really distracting and stressful, and it makes it hard to concentrate or even feel comfortable in the room.
I often end up picking their stuff up just so the room is livable. I feel like I’m constantly cleaning up after them instead of both of us being responsible for the shared space. I’ve asked them multiple times to at least keep their belongings contained to their area or use a hamper, but nothing changes.
I know it’s a shared space, and I don’t expect perfection, but basic consideration doesn’t seem like too much to ask. I just want a clean and livable room without feeling like I’m constantly picking up someone else’s slack.
AITA for being upset and wanting my roommate to be more responsible and considerate?
NTA
INFO, You’ll be sitting at your desk and “suddenly” there’s a pile of stuff in your way? What does that even mean?
Yes you have a right to ask your roommate to be considerate – they shouldn’t be dumping their stuff on your side on the room particularly. But they also don’t have to perfectly meet your standards of cleanliness. If they rewear certain items of clothes before washing and want to leave it on their bed or chair instead of putting it in with dirty clothes, they can do that. If they want to leave their shoes by their desk or their bag on their chair, that’s fine.
Going forward, clean and tidy your side only. If they leave stuff on your side of the room despite you asking them not to multiple times, feel free to throw it in their hamper or even on the floor on their side. But don’t tidy up your roommate’s side of the room that you don’t share and then complain about it, because they didn’t ask you to do that and might not want you to.
Thanks for the advice! To clarify, when I said “suddenly there’s a pile of stuff in my way,” I meant that I’ll be sitting at my desk doing school work, and my roommate will leave piles of worn clothes or other items in the space I’m using on my chair, floor, or even my desk area. It’s not just their side of the room; it ends up interfering with my ability to work.
I completely agree that my roommate doesn’t have to perfectly meet my standards of cleanliness. I don’t mind if they leave worn clothes on their bed or chair on their own side, or if shoes or bags are there. My issue is specifically when their stuff spills over onto my side after I’ve asked multiple times for it not to.
Going forward, I plan to only clean and tidy my own side of the room. If their stuff ends up on my side despite me asking, I think it’s fair to move it to their hamper or their side of the room. I also understand that I shouldn’t tidy up their side without being asked, which I’ll keep in mind.
My main goal is just to have a usable space for school work/studying without constantly picking up after them, while still respecting that it’s a shared dorm.
NTA this is a roommate problem as old as cohabitation itself.
Are you able to put up like a privacy curtain or anything so that you don’t have to see her mess?
Also if you wanted to be petty you could start throwing all the stuff she leaves on your side into a trash bag and hide it somewhere, once you get a full bag or after like a week, just dump it on her bed. Wouldn’t recommend this as it would probably escalate things but it’s an idea.
I’ve thought of doing this I’m ngl but I do think it’s gonna cause a lot of unnecessary drama that might come back to bite me in the ass
NTA. OP has asked multiple times for the roommate to keep their crap to themselves and out of OP’s space. Time to ask for a different roommate, if possible.
NTA and fuck the people saying youre the asshole for expecting decency in a shared space. ask for a new roommate
I’m really trying, but they said I’m most likely going to be stuck with the same roommate for the rest of the semester. I’m genuinely losing my sanity dealing with this.
NTA for your feelings, living in close quarters with others is a learning experience. However, you can’t control what she does on her side of the room that she pays for unless it’s endangering you like moldy food or broken things on the floor. Sounds like a mediated conversation with your RA is the next logical step and figure out a compromise.
She’s genuinely left unfinished food in the dorm, and it’s gotten to the point where we’ve started getting bugs. I just don’t know what to do anymore, and it doesn’t seem like I can get a new roommate or switch dorms anytime soon. :/
You’re obviously NTA for wanting something. Thoughts don’t make you an AH, actions do.
Gonna have to try speaking to them again, or something more drastic to get their attention and to get what you want
You should move to another room.