For context, me (26F) and my bf (29M) have been together for almost 4 years. We have an insanely similar taste in TV and love experiencing new shows together even if one of us has already seen it before. If he’s alone and sees something that looks interesting, he saves it for us both to watch. If I’m alone and see something interesting, I binge watch it to make sure it’s actually good enough to show him.
I just get kind of self conscious about the shows I like and when I pitch them to other people, I tend to highlight the "lame" aspects instead of hyping them up. Even if I love the show, I’ll say "yeah it’s not that great but it’s watchable I guess". Sort of a bad habit I picked up to protect myself from judgement like "oh… that’s the kind of stuff you watch?".
Well, a couple years ago I pitched a show to my bf in my regular fashion. I told him it was kind of a "wholesome slice-of-life about teenage popstars". He trusts my judgement and said he’d watch it anyways. When we sat down to watch it, he expected a frilly pastel feel-good show. Instead he was subjected to an hour long rollercoaster of a pilot about a kid who dies of cancer, the kid’s doctor becoming a popstar fan in her memory, their favorite idol coming to get treated by the doctor for pregnancy, the doctor being murdered right before the birth, both the kid and the doctor getting reincarnated as the idol’s twins, and then the popstar mom being murdered in front of them.
He loved the show, but has NOT let me live down the way I pitched it. I guess it is more of a mystery thriller than a slice of life but I was preparing him for the worst. Ever since then, every time I pitch a show he’s like "I hope this isn’t another surprise mindf\*ck". He’s told his family, his friends, even his coworkers about what I "did". To make it worse, a new season just came out (which we started watching), and every time something bad happens he looks at me and says "wow. so wholesome".
If I try to defend my one time bad pitch he brings up the way I told him I was pregnant. Basically we were trying for a baby and I got a positive test on April 1st so I told him "not pregnant… April Fools" which caused a lot of confusion that he ALSO hasn’t let me live down. He thinks it’s funny but I think it’s old. I think he’s pushing it since it’s been a year since the April Fools and two years since the show, but other people say he deserves to give me some crap for it because my pitch was so bad that I’m kind of an AH for it.
So, was my pitch so bad that I really never deserve to live it down? Or is it unfair for him to still be picking on me for it?
NAH
Is he picking on you out of affection/jest or is he being mean? My sense from your post is he’s gently teasing but you would know best.
Does what he’s saying bother you? My sense is yes but you would know best.
I would just talk to him and tell him it hurts your feelings a little that he keeps bringing that up. He probably doesn’t know and he’ll probably stop if you loop him in.
Honestly, it sounds like he just loves to tease you. If he enjoyed the show, then he should be over it by now! It’s not like you did it on purpose.
YTA. You’re bending over so far backward to hedge against people being bored that you’re leaving out stuff that could really disturb people! How do you get “wholesome slice of life” from “everyone fucking dies like Game of Thrones”?
ETA: also, April Fool’s jokes should never involve pregnancy one way or the other.
Right? Not a single part of the actual description sounds wholesome at all.
And it sounds like the boyfriend is fine with all of this, which is great, but these are both bad habits to get into for dealing with the whole rest of humanity lol.
NAH. You may be bad at pitching Oshi no Ko, but you aren’t an AH for it. Neither is the BF, unless you have told him that you are seriously not okay with him bringing it up constantly.
Well, obviously you aren’t an asshole for the way in which you pitched a TV show. That’s ridiculous.
It sounds like he finds the whole thing very funny and enjoys teasing you about it. But it sounds like you don’t appreciate the teasing. I think you might be taking the whole thing too seriously — both his teasing and the entire concept of “pitching” a TV show. Describing a show you like to your partner shouldn’t be this serious!
I can’t tell if he’s truly being mean-spirited, or if it’s all just playful teasing and you take the whole thing way too seriously.
Have you told him how much the teasing bothers you? If you have and he’s continued, that makes him a slight asshole. If you haven’t, and instead just keep defending the pitch, he might not realize how much this is bothering you.
Without more info, I’m going to say NAH, but please either tell him how much this bothers you, or realize this isn’t that serious. And my goodness, next time outsource your “pitch” to AI or a pre-written summary. This is such a bizarre thing to stress over!
Girl just lay the cards down straight. If they complain in they future they can’t make fun or pick on you but NTA.
NAH
OP, i feel like you have a hard time advocating for yourself. you have to brace for the worst when sharing your interests, and you feel like you have to triple check when you feel bad about something. if your boyfriends teasing makes you feel belittled, its important to let him know that you don’t find that funny and be honest and assertive about your boundaries.
It was a simple miscommunication, and if the jokes are hurting your feelings youre well within your right to let him know. Youve been together for four years, you can tell him to ease off
You put a LOT of pressure on yourself for ‘pitching’ a TV show. I didn’t know this was an actual thing that people stressed about and you’re making it WAY worse on yourself by watching it first. I don’t get that AT ALL…now you have to watch it twice? Why not just read reviews, and if something sounds good say ‘why don’t we try it’? Experience it together? If it’s bad you can both turn it off? The way you’re doing it is not only are you ‘pitching’ it but you’re taking hte weight of knowing you watched the entire thing and are now responsible to give an accurate review and description becuase if your bf doesn’t agree it’s good, now your review is trash? Why do you do this?
I would say your bad habit is really annoying and takes the fun out of things.
Stop overthinking, stop ‘pitching’ and try ‘suggesting’.
A gentle YTA.
You need to learn to speak more clearly and directly. Getting misunderstood once is a mistake, getting misunderstood all the time is just an excuse for lying.
I mean, holy shit OP, you do NOT lie and try to make a joke about a PREGNANCY TEST. That is cold.
\> He thinks it’s funny but I think it’s old
Maybe he says it’s funny because he doesn’t want to tell you it was hurtful and that he still resents it.
NAH but do you even know what wholesome means?
NAH, but please hear me: You need to work on disentangling your self worth with your interests/tastes. I get it, I felt the same way during part of my 20s–self-conscious or defensive about my favorite bands, shows, books, etc. They reflect your interests, but they do not define you as a human being. Be confident, stand behind what you love, because you love it for valid reasons and someone disagreeing with your taste does NOT INVALIDATE YOU AS A PERSON.
NAH
Your pitch seems like promoting *Game of Thrones* as an historical period-piece drama and the viewing audience getting blindsided by the sex and attempted murder in the premiere episode. So yeah, you BF was justified in ribbing you about your show pitch–**at the time** and *maybe* for a little while afterward. That said, 2 years of it does become tiresome. But, if there hasn’t been anything similar to supplant it, then that could be a good thing and shows you’ve learned.
Maybe you can work on overcoming this habit. Since you say that you and your BF have similar tastes in shows and usually end up liking the same thing…why not try an experiment where, the next time you find a show that you think you’d both like, you try your BF’s strategy of saving it and watching it together (without your normal pre-watching)? That way, there wouldn’t be any “bad pitch” for him to critique. And if it turns out he/you don’t like the show, you can use some pre-designated words to indicate that, exit it, and watch something else instead.
Regarding the April Fool’s “joke”…I would think that the standard advice is to not use that kind of situation to make such an announcement.