I, 15 male have a Christian dad who won’t let me stay home on saturdays
I don’t know if this is the right subreddit, if there is a better one please do tell me. So, to explain I 15 live in a Christian household, I myself am not Christian and my dad and mom are well aware of this. I’ve been going to church since I was practically born, but the last phew years I’ve been becoming atheist, at this point I believe I am a atheist. I slowly noticed how angry or annoyed ive become every time I go to church, it started small like taking long times to get ready etc etc. but then it become me dreading Fridays because after that I lose a good chunk of my weekend to go to church and praise a religion I don’t believe in. Recently I had a argument with my dad about it, don’t get me wrong I love him, but I HATE when he using child like it’s dehumanizing. The argument kinda went something like this "dad I hate going to church, let me stay home" "I, should let a *CHILD* tell me what to do? A authority over him?" I can’t remember much, but this is why I avoid talking to him about how I feel. It will eventually go to him using child like it’s dehumanizing. But lately I’ve been getting so angry by just the thought of going. My mom is different. She just "baby, I don’t like that, that isn’t good. Do it for me" I love my mom but I hated that. Felt like guilt tripping. My mom does a lot for us but I really felt like she was trying to guilt trip me. What should I do about this? I looked it up, in america I legally cannot stop this l, I just get mad at the lack of rights I have to my religious life, with it basically being whatever my parents are in.
No. Religion is about control
True, when I was Christian and when I used to read the bible, everything seems so forced like no one had a say
Time to look for employment, perhaps two jobs and stress that you’d love to work weekends.
definitely NTA. this just how religion is. +1 to the possibility of finding work if you can do that.
NTA buuuut you are dependent on your parents and this is one of his requirements for you. You can dislike it all you want but you’re just going to have to go, and the more miserable you try to make your parents about forcing you into going, the more miserable they will try to make you in return. So while you’re N T A for not believing, you’re T A to yourself because fighting will just make your life harder and not change anything.
I had something similar when I was a child, and had to do the same. The line I drew was Confirmation: I stated that I could not swear that I believe something I don’t. We fought over that but finally accepted that I would go to church with the family while living there but did not have to go through Confirmation.
Maybe you can compromise. Does your church have Sunday school for the kids who don’t attend the service? When I was a teen I volunteered in one of the classrooms during the service. The most I ever had to do was teach first graders The Lord’s Prayer.
NTA. You’re allowed to spend your time how you want without the guilt trip. Try looking up some classes that are happening on weekend, maybe if it’s for your education they’ll understand
Just remember everything is temporary. Even if you have to put up with it for the next 3 years which feels like a long time now, it’ll be nothing compared to having the rest of your life free to make your own choices. Everything is temporary
You are not alone. I am an atheist. Actually attending Sunday school taught me do much about the lack of logic in the Bible. Also how masoginist, sexist and immoral so much of it is.
First, congratulations on ditching religion. I did the same when I was a teenager and now, decades later, I have never regretted it. It’s very difficult to break free from childhood indoctrination so be proud of yourself.
I’m not sure how toxic your home life would become if you stick to your convictions. If this would become a big issue with your parents it might be a smarter tactic to suck it up while youre still a minor. No one can make you bow your head and close your eyes when they pray, no one can make you sing nor can they make you engage enthusiastically in worship so maybe reluctant engagement would become an embarrassment to them.
However, if you think you can eventually make them understand then just refuse to go. They are going to have to eventually accept that you’re not a little kid now and you have a mind of your own.
I strongly recommend that you educate yourself in the language of atheism – there is a wealth of great videos all over the Internet. The Atheist Experience on YouTube is one I always enjoyed. If you can clearly express your objections about religion to your parents then they will have to engage with you on an intellectual level.
Good luck young man.
You’re NTA but you not being the arsehole won’t help you here.
I’d be very honest with them and say you don’t believe and you won’t engage with the process in good faith because you can’t if they cajole you into partaking in it.
Tell them you’ll do the absolute minimum and you’ll hate it, and you’ll resent being forced to be there. They can do what they want with that information and you can sit with their responses however you need to.
NTA Unfortunately your age makes it that you are stuck in this situation for now. It’s better to just go along with it until you can get out on your own when you turn 18. Neither of you is going to change the other’s mind. One of the best parts of becoming an adult is realizing you don’t have to agree with your parents’ views/beliefs.
NTA First and foremost is your safety. If you have to do this to stay safe until you’re independent, then I suggest take up the hobby of creating your own story in your head so you’ve got something enjoyable to think about. Some others have suggested, and I echo, that maybe you can compromise with doing service or doing a job. I would rather clean house than go to church, at least you can listen to your music. If you do strike a bargain, live up to it like it’s your livelihood, you won’t get a second chance.
NTA. But, as others have said, you don’t have much recourse. Your parents ARE, however, both assholes,for infantalizing and indoctrinating you. If talking to them calmly and rationally (let’s not use the phrasing “I HATE church” which can sound kind of whiney, and parents know how to tune that out lol) doesn’t work, you might just have to stick it up until you’re on your own. Just keep in mind that you don’t owe them your faith in their religion. Or in them, for that matter.