So I have a friend who’s very much into music. So much so that he’s decided it’s his true calling. Unfortunately, he’s very very bad at it. His voice, his flows, his lyrics, his lack of artistic direction, his lack of sonic cohesion, and his lyrics are all mundane to say the least.
He also floods my messages with his music ad nauseam. Sometimes his beat selection is fire, but I feel I’ve exhausted the “damn that beat hard, bruh” compliment. I feel like the cast of Friends when they tell Joey that the “lighting” is good after watching one of his awful plays.
What’s the best way to move on this? I do wanna be honest eventually, but he’s extremely sensitive.
Yta if you’re honest. Just be supportive. This is no reason to damage a friendship. He’ll figure it out without your “help”, which you seem far too eager to want to give.
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YWBTA.
You can ask somebody to send you fewer songs without shitting on the songs they send you. Why do people always think they need to be unkind in order to be honest?
They just want to be unkind and use “brutal honesty” as an excuse
Cut back on responding to his messages. If he asks why you’re not saying anything, tell him that you just don’t have time to listen to all his music. You don’t have to spell it out. He’ll eventually stop sending you stuff if you just ignore it.
YWBTA. Here’s the thing — getting good at something takes a really long time. Every time your friend is writing a song, performing it, recording it, publishing it, and sharing it, they are learning and developing. Maybe right now it sucks, or you don’t like it — but that isn’t always going to be the case. They keep at it, they can get good.
Don’t crush them now. Support them. Say “good on ya” — not because the art is good, but because they’re doing something!
Also, don’t give unsolicited critique. If they honestly ask you for feedback, then be constructive – but supportive. But if they haven’t asked you to be constructive or brutal, or for feedback at all, just be encouraging (keep at it man, you’re doing good).
Art is hard, and we have to allow ourselves to suck at it. For a long time. You have to suck before you get good.
Imagine if you got shut down and crushed when you started out with something you love…
Also, to add to this… you’ve asked how to respond when he floods your messages… here are a few suggestions…
– well done 👍
– thanks for sharing. How do you think you did? Anything you’d change?
– that’s cool. Share it with (x other person).
– there must be some Facebook groups for fans of this music and other producers. Have you shared it there? Great place to get constructive feedback?
– would you like my constructive feedback?
YWBTA
Just start saying things like, ‘that part just isn’t quite working for me. I can’t put my finger on why.’
Don’t be harsh or specific. Be vague. I bet he will slowly let off the flow of songs sent to you. You can do this without burning bridges.
Yeah, you’d be.
But on another note, I’m an illustrator and I had a friend in college who’d show me her sketches and drawings all the time. She was horrible. But I’d be supportive, complimented the few good things I could find about it (sometimes I had to stretch the truth) and giving tips on what to improve. But in my mind, I was judging so hard and thinking she’d never amount to anything in this field. Well in a few years, I didn’t have to lie anymore. She became really good, for real. It was a big humbling moment, I had judged her to be in the “no talent” category but she showed me that people can get better and move out of any category with practice and encouragement.
This is what anyone would do if they 1) even remotely care about the person or 2) even remotely care about the media becoming stronger by adding artists to the discipline. Plus it’s always a good exercise in analysis to pull something good from something you hate (and there’s almost always SOMETHING).
you wouldn’t believe how many people love music i think is absolutely terrible
it’s not for you. but that doesn’t mean it’s not for someone
>What’s the best way to move on this? I do wanna be honest eventually, but he’s extremely sensitive.
YWBTA if you put it like that.
Suggested Response: “Sorry Bro, but your artistic direction is moving outside of my tastes.”
If he gets offended just claim it’s so outside of your wheelhouse you can’t judge it.
YWBTA
…. Unless you are a music executive whose professional role it is to sign artists or some other related professional AND he is engaging you in a professional context.
However, this just sounds like a guy who loves making music and is texting his friend. It is your role here to be a friend, not an arbiter of taste. You can say things like, “I love how dedicated you are to building your skills.” or “I could totally see someone like (superstar) doing (what they do) on that beat.” or “Thanks for sending that to me, your dedication is really inspiring me to do (something you care about).” You can even give constructive feedback like, “the second verse was solid, but I can tell you’re still figuring out that hook.” Or just ask a question about what his inspiration was on that one. I would also be in line to address frequency saying you can’t keep up.
He wants a friend, be a friend.
Telling him to stop sending you stuff is rude and just unkind.
YTA if you tell him this. Don’t yuck someone else’s yum. You will 100% crush his spirit if you say any of these things to him. Don’t do it. Leave him be to create whatever he wants to.