My 33F boyfriend 35M woke me up snapping at our puppy this morning. He fell back asleep, I cuddled the dog and moved on. Once we got up he was helping me with something and still seemed irritated so I asked “what’s wrong?” He flipped out and said nothing is wrong and he doesn’t appreciate me accusing him of something being wrong. I got annoyed and said I didn’t accuse, I was just checking in because he seemed irritated all morning. He maintains that asking “what is wrong” is very different than asking “is something wrong” because it implies there is an issue instead of asking if there is an issue. I didn’t think about my wording that deeply and was just trying to understand why he had been snippy all morning. AITA for asking what is wrong instead of is something wrong?
Walking on eggshells is not fun. I had an entire marriage like this. NTA
I second this as I experienced the same thing!
Me too. If you can’t be yourself, what’s the point? Constantly monitoring your actions to cater to someone else’s feelings is exhausting.
He’s nitpicking what she said when he knows how she meant it. I think he WANTS something to be wrong. He’s looking for an excuse to argue.
NTA
He sounds annoying.
Sounds like something was wrong
Ya know I still think so but I don’t plan to ask again
Here’s some resources
Is your relationship healthy?
https://www.loveisrespect.org/quiz/is-your-relationship-healthy/
Why does he do that?
https://freebooksmania.com/2021/01/why-does-he-do-that-pdf-free-download-by-lundy-bancroft.html
He doesn’t care AKA weaponized incompetence
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/s/NsoxMseUn3
My partner doesn’t help around the house
https://zawn.substack.com/p/why-household-labor-inequity-is-abuse?utm_source=direct
NTA.
That sounds exhausting. When I ask my spouse what’s wrong, it’s because I know him well enough to tell that he’s upset. I can read his facial expressions and the change in his posture. I know how he’d usually respond to me and can tell that something’s different. It’s actually something that I consider the sign of a close relationship and that you care about the other person. Your boyfriend’s insistence on a specific wording is over the top, probably because *there is something wrong.*
Arguing semantics is not a good sign for the two of you.
INFO: Is really the kind of relationship you want with someone?
No, it is not
NTA; he very clearly has an issue. Check him on that, he should not be speaking to you like that for no reason.
NTA. There is CLEARLY something wrong if he’s being huffy and puffy all morning and then he decides to take it out on you for not asking the question the way he wanted you to? He’s a child. That’s manipulation, end of story. I would move on if I were you, behavior like that doesn’t get better with time.
Well, something is wrong.