I (27F) have a brother (32M). A while ago, he got a car under my name because he couldn’t get approved himself. He pays it monthly and deposits the money to me, he always says he did me a favor because it helps my credit score. In my opinion, I also did him a favor because otherwise he wouldn’t have gotten the car. He also leaves the car (a Kia) for my mom and me to use when he goes away for work, and he sometimes acts like he’s doing us a huge favor, even though we didn’t really need another car before this as we have a family car available
Anyway, the main issue happened recently. His car ( the Kia the one in my name) was in service, so he took the family car (a Ford Figo) to his place and said he’d bring it back in the morning. My mom told him that was fine, but when he brought it back, he needed to take the dogs out. I have three dogs and they go out early in the morning. My mom had to leave early for work, so I stayed with the responsibility. Since he hadn’t brought the car back, I just took the dogs out near the house around 7 AM.
That day was the only day I could go get a measles vaccine ( because I traveled the day after and I didn’t want to feel bad on the way) it was only available from 10 AM to 2 PM.I called him three times in the morning because I needed the car and he didn’t answer. Around 11:30 he texted asking if I had taken the dogs out (he knows they go out early). I told him yes, but that I needed the car to go get vaccinated.
He finally showed up and said he’d go with me, but first he wanted to eat breakfast. That delayed us more. Then on the way he said we should pick up his girlfriend because she also wanted the vaccine. I had already told him I wanted to go to a specific vaccination place first, but we ended up going to another place his girlfriend suggested. There were no vaccines there. Then we went to the place I originally wanted, and they were literally vaccinating the last people in line when we arrived. If we had gone there first, I would have gotten it. We tried a third place but by then it was past 2 PM and everything was done.
During all of this, he was teasing me in front of his girlfriend, making fun of my English pronunciation while I was practicing for an upcoming job interview. I was already stressed about the vaccine timing and my interview. Then I got a stressful call from work, and he kept teasing me. I finally snapped and told him to stop and basically to shut the f up
Since then, he hasn’t been talking to me and even tried to tell my mom that I “went too far,” but she told him we’re both adults and he should handle it directly with me.
I feel bad for snapping, but I also feel like I was pushed to that point after delays, stress, and constant teasing.
AITA?
Info: I want to say not the asshole, but why didn’t you just go whole while he ate breakfast? You had the chance it sounds like.
Honestly I thought waiting for him to eat was gonna be the only delay. Since the trip was almost an hour and Uber prices were high, I figured it made more sense to just wait it out and then go straight there. I didn’t expect the plan to keep changing after that or for extra stops to get added, that’s when it started messing up the timing.
NTA, but OP, do yourself a favor and grow a backbone. When he said he wanted to eat breakfast first you should have straight vetoed him. He came back after 11:30 and wanted *breakfast*? No, he knew you were running late and chose to delay you further. He knew you did something *he* was asked to do and still thought he was ok to delay. When his girlfriend asked to go to a different place you should have vetoed it. You’re letting them walk all over you until it boils over and you blow up at them. You need to shut your brother’s inconsiderate behavior down *immediately*.
This is the type of answer I needed , thankyou !
NTA. If I were you, I’d return that car. Or sell it back, or whatever one does with cars. Your brother has paid you back on time so far, but he clearly doesn’t respect you or care about your needs. So what’s going to happen when he has something more important than paying you?
Also, him getting a car in your name is neutral, not helping you. If *you* need to take out a loan for yourself for some reason, you already have a loan in your name. That’s going to affect what people are willing to lend you.
If OP has the car repossessed, it would severely tank her credit.
ESH. You’re both adults ffs. If he can’t be trustworthy, you’re old enough to figure something out and not rely on him 🤷♀️
You had 4 hours to get to a place and get vaccinated. Google maps can help you figure out the best route… Public transportation still exists even if you have to walk a bit to the nearest stop.
I get that I could’ve been kinda selfish and just left him and his timing behind. I think part of why I waited was because I wanted to give him time to finish breakfast, since the trip was almost an hour and Uber prices were crazy high. So in my head I was like, okay, this is probably the only delay we’re gonna have.
But it honestly stopped being about waiting for him to eat. It turned into him changing the plan, adding extra stops on the way, and that’s where things got frustrating for me.
Tbh… he knew you had plans and he failed to be helpful.
At the point where he started changing the plan I would’ve literally been a B**** and ditched even if I was already with him in the car and went on my way 🤷♀️ I don’t take crap like that especially if I have something important to do. It’s also not his responsibility to make sure you get to your stuff on time, but that just shows his respect for you so really only reason for ESH is that he’s an AH and you could’ve just been with more of a backbone and gotten your stuff done instead of blaming him now.
And for something like this that might seem trivial to others, I’d bring into discussion his car and change of ownership because you’re helping him, not the other way around, and his thanks to you for him being able to have a car is to fuck with your plans 🤷♀️
I get what you mean, but I also felt like it was partly his responsibility. The Figo we lent him to go stay at his place (because his car — technically my car on paper lol — was in service) is under my responsibility and I’m free to use it whenever I need to. So asking him to be there early and calling him to bring the car wasn’t me being extra, it was literally something he was supposed to do.
YTA slightly. You could have just left without him, instead, YOU chose to wait for him.
That’s fair tbh. I get that at the end of the day I chose to wait. I really thought breakfast was gonna be the only delay and we’d still be fine time-wise. I wasn’t expecting the plan to keep changing after that or for more stops to get added. That’s where it went sideways for me.