First time posting. This isn’t a huge conflict, but I’m starting to worry I might be the TA.
In my office, we’re assigned to desk groups, but within each group it’s first come, first served. My coworker (both of us are in our 30s) and I are in the office most often. He goes in three days a week; I go in two to three. He started a few months before I did, but the current desk group setup began after I joined. Before that, he had an assigned desk in a different area.
There’s one desk by the window that we both prefer. If I arrive and he’s not there, I take it. Lately, other coworkers have been joking that I’m sitting “at his desk” or “stealing his desk,” especially on days when I arrive before him and he ends up at another spot (usually the one I take if I come in later).
It’s true that he probably sits at the window desk more often than I do. But it’s not assigned to him, no one keeps personal items there, and the system is supposed to be first come, first served. I just really like sitting by the window.
I’m pretty shy and this is my first time working in a desk office, so I’m not sure if there’s some unspoken rule I’m missing. I haven’t pushed back on the comments, but they’re starting to make me second-guess myself.
Am I being selfish or violating some kind of office etiquette here? AITA?
NTA, you both have the same preference for that desk but if you get in before him, it’s not assigned seating and he’s not bitching and moaning, then just keep sitting there. If he does bring it up be like “sure, I understand that you like it, so do I, but it’s not assigned and I’d like to also sit here too sometimes. Thanks for understanding”
NAH. The unspoken rule is to not gaf. If you find yourself gaf, talk to co-worker and perhaps make a game of it if your pretty shy.
For example, a co-worker and I “fight” over the “good” parking space. Loser gets the Champion Post-It Note we put over the apple symbol of our laptops.
NTA, but you might be edging towards conflict. If he really loves the desk and if he starts a whisper campaign behind your back and that’s what the comments are about, it might get tense.
NAH. Seating is not assigned, and it doesn’t sound like he has made a big deal or commented on it, so I’d say you’re fine.
NAH. If you’re worried about it, find another desk. To be honest, I hate when offices don’t simply assign seating for this reason. It’s a needless conflict that shouldn’t have to even happen. You both like sitting by the window, and since it’s first come first serve, you’re both justified in picking the seat.
NTA. So that’s his favorite desk. It’s also YOUR favorite desk. Why does his preference outweigh yours? If desks are unassigned and you arrive first, he has no claim on it. He can come in earlier if it’s THAT important to him.
This is exactly why all companies with offices still need to have assigned desks. Having setups like this just breeds conflict, not to mention that people are less likely to actually want to be there if they can’t keep personal items on their desk.
NTA but whoever made this policy sure is.
NTA. It’s unfortunate but it seems like your desk co-worker has bonded more with the other coworkers. This is not something worth bringing up to HR (unless they start getting really aggressive/hostile).
If you want them to stop making comments, then I suggest trying to build a better relationship with your coworkers. If you’re already pretty friendly with them and they are indeed just playfully joking, then try not to let it bother you
NTA. It’s not assigned and you get there before he does. But if it’s your first time at a desk job, just be aware that for some reason, desk jobs tend to bring out the worst in people. They can get catty and stupid over the dumbest stuff. Might just be my experience.
NTA
NTA
To be clear, you are not an AH for taking that desk if it is available when you arrive at work.
The coworkers who call it “his desk” are AH on two counts – (1) claiming free territory and (2) butting their noses into none of their business.
I suspect that the other guy IS an AH because it’s hard to believe the coworkers would say anything if he didn’t say something to them.
If you feel the need to respond the coworkers, my first choice would be for you to just look at them blankly and simply say, “Huh.”
My second choice would be to simply ask them, “Are you making these comments because you feel this concerns you or because he is putting you up to this?”
They (and he) really have no grounds to complain or expect you to give up the spot you got to first.
However, be prepared that you may have to say something to your boss if these people persist.
He was there before you, yes, there is an unwritten rule that if somebody prefers a desk, it sort of turns into a habit.
Sounds like you’re playing chicken with him. You know it’s his favorite spot, and you know he’s gonna be upset if you get it first. Do you really want to play this game with your coworker?
I mean, do you really want to fight over a desk?
Find another desk.
I cannot imagine an office without assigned desks. The chaos. No. Just no.