Hi everyone, I just need to rant about something that happened at work.
For context, I’m 17 and work at a place where we take care of kids while their parents work out. The kids range from a few weeks old to 12 years old. I’ve been working really long shifts lately to save money for college, so I’ve seen hundreds of kids this past week. At our job, parents have to use their childcare hours all at once. They can’t drop off in the morning and then come back later in the day.
So it was a normal shift and I was playing with one of the kids when a mom came in with her 4 year old son who looked really familiar. I greeted them and let him start playing. I told my coworker that I was pretty sure I had seen them earlier that morning. Instead of double checking right away, we tried calling the parent. When the mom came back, my coworker said, “She said she saw you this morning,” basically putting it on me.
The mom immediately got aggressive and demanded proof, saying to check the cameras. I tried explaining that I was pretty sure I had seen her, but I’ll admit I said some things out of fear that I shouldn’t have, which escalated things. We checked with the front desk and I was wrong. I felt awful.
After that, she complained to the front desk. Then she and her husband came back and she started screaming at me in front of everyone, saying I was accusing her and ruining her experience. I kept apologizing and saying it was an honest mistake. One really bad move I made was asking her son if he had come earlier, and he said yes, which made things worse. She kept yelling that I wasted her time and disrupted her workout.
I got overwhelmed and went to sit down. My whole body froze and I started crying. The kids were honestly so sweet and defended me. Her son even tried to cheer me up by showing me his toy. After I calmed down, she came back again and demanded my name. I hesitated since I’m a minor, but I gave it to her. Then her friend showed up and started defending her without even seeing what happened. My coworker finally stepped in and said I had apologized and that she was escalating it unnecessarily.
She left a bad review, but thankfully didn’t include my name.
I know I messed up and there were better ways I could have handled it. I’m just still shaken and embarrassed. Every single worker knows what happened and I feel so dumb going back. I even called out sick tomorrow because I feel so overwhelmed.
Is this really as big of a deal as it feels? I’m frustrated because the one time I speak up about parents potentially abusing the system, I’m wrong. I also wish my coworker had double checked before confronting the mom instead of throwing me under the bus. I know I made the mistake, but I just feel really shaken and embarrassed about the whole thing. I’d really appreciate any advice.
Use it as a lesson to double check before guessing I would not say necessarily an ah bit as a learning experience
yeah i get that i know that i really did mess up i just am a bit annoyed why her friend got involved when she doesnt know the full story 🙁 she even admitted that her friend escalates situations and holds grudges for no real (all while she is a school teacher)!!!
YTA, but I’m not pinning this all on you. I’m sorry, but you *and your coworker both* should have double-checked first.
You have records. You have their names. They are probably regulars. You might have seen them the day before. Or maybe the dad brought him in before instead of the mom. Or maybe someone just looks like the kid. Too many possibilities. But you and coworker should have checked first.
I myself find it very triggering to be accused of something I didn’t do. I wouldn’t shout at you, but I would be very upset. Not to mention the time wasted.
I’m sorry this happened to you, but I’m sure you’ll use this as a learning experience. Mistakes happen, I’m sure nobody at your place of work will think very badly of you for it, one because you’re young, and two because *it wasn’t your responsibility alone*. If nothing else, please remember that last one.
yeah i 100% will use it as a learning experience and thank you for your advice 🙂
I think making sure someone doesn’t abuse the system is a good thing to bring up. Letting this or anything else slide is how things get ruined for others; however, it might have been handled differently next time.
It does seem like you thought this through in how to go about it next time which shows you’re growing and learning from this experience. Next time try going to a supervisor and getting all the details. It’s good to ask about it though rather than do nothing.
And I don’t blame you for being shaken up about it. You’ve never had someone confront you like that. What made it worse is that she was super aggressive and unnecessarily got her friend involved.
You learned from your mistake which is what matters. Just take a few breaths and let yourself calm down. You’re doing great 🙂
NTA, it’s sounds like the mom hugely overreacted to me. If it’s a gym, then she could have just asked you to verify when she had last checked in. Yelling at you and complaining were completely unnecessary.
Go in tomorrow – you’ll feel uncomfortable but that’s ok. You are resilient and you can do things that aren’t comfortable. Try to remember that you have every right to be there and to focus on moving forward. You have already apologized so don’t keep doing that. Just show up and be an awesome caretaker for those kids.
Edit to add: I agree that one good lesson here is to double check before you say anything next time.
yeah i do admit that if i were to be put in the situation again id 10000% handle is so beyond differently i just am in shock and ironic that in this whole situation her own kid was comforting me
Question – when parents drop kids off do they sign them in? How do you track?
Meaning was verifying the parent had been there earlier easy or does it require going through hours of video?
yes so the parents write down the names of the kids and other info include phone number (which is how we contacted her) but at the end of each shift we scan the papers and send it to our manager. it was just such a stupid mistake tho that while looking throuhg the trash (GROSS I KNOW) we found the papers from the previous morning
You did the wrong thing and then she overreacted.
But now you’re calling in sick and not going to work? That’s not a solution.
Move past it by putting it in the past.
ESH
ESH but potentially leaning more to you being an asshole.
What things out of fear exactly did you say to her because prior she demanded proof aggressively sure but she wasn’t in true asshole territory yet.
If what you said was what escalated the situation then it’s on you.
All you can do now though is put it to one side you fucked up it happens and it will happen again.