My family is me (21M), sister 1 (22F), sister 2 (19F), and our parents.
We’ve had life 360 most of our lives. Over the last couple years, sister 2 has dated several guys and each relationship has lasted 1–3 months. They’re the typical Snapchat gymrat/motorcycle type. Not great ones these guys. She often leaves late at night to go to their houses and sometimes doesn’t come home until 2 or 3 at nights.
My parents get concerned and have tried talking to her. Sister 2 tends to get defensive about it and brushes it off. My mom can be blunt, especially after working 10 hour days since I’ve been born and she doesn’t tolerate attitude well. She’ll match your energy 100%.
Now like 2-3 months ago things blew up after an argument and sister 2 stormed out. She’s always had a short temper, if she can’t win an argument, she shuts down or leaves. Sister 1 stepped in as a mediator as they have always been close . Her argument was that our parents don’t try hard enough to understand sister 2 and can be judgmental. My parents said they’re tired of walking on eggshells and have tried to understand her but she won’t let them in
Now both sisters have since deleted Life360, saying it’s controlling and they want privacy. I understand wanting independence, but sister 2 will sneak out without telling anyone, getting angry if asked about it and then ask mom to buy her things the next day?? It feels like she wants adult freedom when it suits her but kid treatment when it benefits her.
Sister 1 had good results from therapy before. Sister 2 said she doesn’t want therapy, she wants our mom yet when mom tries to talk, she lashes out? She did say she feels pressure being the youngest and seeing the us have our futures figured out is scary which I understand. But it doesn’t seem fair to treat people like trash because of that.
Now my sisters are talking about moving out together because they feel judged at home/want privacy. Which i gets but the problem is that there viewing it as like them escaping or sometime, treating our parents like there super villains. When our parents don’t charge rent, pay for dinners, and just ask us to do the dishes and check in. I know I wont always see everything from there perspective or know what there feeling but I just don’t believe it’s fair for them to treat our parents like this after they’ve given us so much.
honestly the moving out thing might not even be the worst outcome here.. like if sister 2 needs to learn some real world lessons, paying rent and figuring out groceries might do more than any conversation you could have. sometimes ppl need to feel the weight of things themselves before they listen. how are YOU doing in all this tho, bc it sounds exhausting just watching it unfold 😮💨
I think you should just stay out of it. Ywnbta but 1, it won’t solve any of this and 2, sister 2 moving out will probably be good for her, it’ll make her grow and appreciate your parents more. Just let them move out and have their privacy.
I’ll be honest, I don’t really see how many of this requires you to be involved at all aside from the fact that you also live in the house?
Your parents are allowed to have certain expectations for their adult children living in their house rent free, and your sisters are allowed to think that those expectations aren’t reasonable and that they want to move out instead.
But also,
>My mom can be blunt, especially after working 10 hour days since I’ve been born and she doesn’t tolerate attitude well. She’ll match your energy 100%.
Your mum is the parent here. Why are you making it sound like her “matching the energy” of a 19 year old is anything other than immense emotional immaturity that has likely failed her children by way of their ability to engage in mature conversations themselves?
I am wondering if OP really is the parent, and just saying they are a “brother” observer.
YWBTA – and it will only make things worse. Every child has a different experience in the same family, with the same parents due to their birth order.
To them, your parents may have been super villains.
>Her argument was that our parents don’t try hard enough to understand sister 2 and can be judgmental. My parents said they’re tired of walking on eggshells and have tried to understand her but she won’t let them in
Something you should learn now. People feel how they feel. Do not tell people how they should feel. Ask them how they feel, why they feel that way then attempt to put yourself in their shoes. Maybe she doesn’t feel safe enough to let them in. I have shut my other mother out for decades now. She has made it abundantly clear she will weaponize what I or my sister says to her to our detriment. She says things like having to walk on egg shells around me and my sister and doesn’t seem to understand asking your 13yo granddaughter to lie to cover up your affair is not appropriate while you are still married to our father, or insulting my wife to her face. But no, its me and my sister who are the issue.
>When our parents don’t charge rent, pay for dinners, and just ask us to do the dishes and check in. I know I wont always see everything from there perspective or know what there feeling but I just don’t believe it’s fair for them to treat our parents like this after they’ve given us so much.
You wrote this, but did you think this through? If someone is willing to pay money to get away from someone, you are definitely missing something when you see this as a golden ticket. I missed a lot of the hell my mother gave to my sister since I was the golden child. You may be their golden child as well and had a very different life than them. You can see everything from their perspective if you ask them, shut up and listen and don’t tell them how they should feel or act. Don’t tell them they are wrong to feel the way they do and there is not a single thing you can say to change it or make it better, you can only make it worse by speaking, so just listen to how they feel and why they feel that way.
Leave the parenting to the parents.
YWBTA. Your sisters are adults. I think it is insane for your parents to be tracking their locations (I am from a generation where putting a location tracker on a child would be considered paranoid and very strange). A 19 year old shouldn’t have to “sneak” anywhere to stay up late with a boyfriend. Obviously your parents are not supervillains, but has it occurred to you that they might treat your sisters differently from you? It’s not rare for parents to give their sons a lot more leeway and a lot less judgement when it comes to dating.
Honestly, after 18 your parents should not be following you on Life360
YWBTA
Tracking your grown children is weird to me. Once I hit 18 my parents were like “don’t wake us up when you come in” because you have to be able to go out and live and make your mistakes and figure out life. The honest solutions should have been for your parents to excuse themselves from it and let you be able to track as sisters to check in safety wise but not to track. I would have 100% moved out if my parents were questioning my movements and wanting to talk about it. It’s nice your parents don’t charge rent but if the price is privacy then I’d move out too.
Im wondering if you get different treatment as a son?
YWBTA. Siblings can have WILDLY different experiences of their parents and other family members. Growing up in the same family doesn’t mean that you all have the same experiences. My sister and I have very different experiences of both sides of our family – I was the favourite on Mum’s side, and she was the favourite on dad’s side. Just because you think that your sisters are overreacting, doesn’t mean that they are. Your experience as the only male child is clearly different to what theirs has been.
First, your parents should not have your adult locations unless you are comfortable with them knowing where you are at all time. This alone leads me to believe that you are honest about where you go but I dont think they mind with you. I think they mind with your sisters because they are girls and can get pregnant and the stigma of a young woman going to sleep at her boyfriends house is very looked down upon. I think you dont see just how much harder they are on your sisters than you.
This happens alot, the girls are raised with more pressure and rules and now that they are adults they still feel like their parents are making themselves explain where they are and why they are and such. Girls don’t mature faster than boys and girls dont fight with their parents more because they are girls, it’s because we have so much pressure on us to do whats expected of us.
Second, you should have nothing to do with any of it. Its between your parents and sisters. Leave it alone. Not your business.
YTA. Life360 for a 22 and 19 year old is wild.
YTA.
The fact that the words “sneaking out” are being applied to an adult woman leaving the house, and that you all still had Life360 over age 18 tells me everything I need to know here.
Stay out of this. Your sisters aren’t wrong.
Sounds like you are the golden child. That being said, it’s not your place to stick your nose in this. YTA