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TLDR: a moms soccer league is requesting my daughter’s birth certificate to prove I’m a biological mom in order to play in the league.
I (35f) am trying to play soccer in a moms league. There are a ton of red flags imo.
Firstly, they require you to be a biological mom. Even though the rules state "or legal guardian".
Secondly, the league fee was 50. Team fee paid to the league also, 25. There is a 55 cash only uniform fee paid to the coaches wife as well as a 60 cash only fee paid to the coaches wife. Returning members paid 45.
Thirdly, the league is requiring a copy of your child’s birth certificate to prove you are a biological mother. When I showed pictures from my FB of me pregnant then giving birth. I was told that that’s not proof and anyone can make pictures. I then showed a picture of my daughters birth certificate with everything blacked out except my name. It was not accepted because I had blocked out my daughters name.
Other various red flags.
Upon meeting coaches wife, there was a really big interest in my kids, how old they were, names…etc.
A lesbian mom was kicked off because her wife had given birth, not her. Even though the rules state legal guardian also. The coaches wife said they took a vote and it was 9 kick her off, 6 stay. But I wasn’t asked. And another new member wasn’t asked….and I don’t think we even have 15 total members to be honest. Even though the WhatsApp group says they is 25 ppl. Who. Never met them.
They are weirdly strict about showing up to games and practice. A mom said she couldn’t make it to the game today and was immediately asked why. If you don’t show up and we have to forfeit, you pay a fine.
When pressed why, they said a that having a kid puts you at a physical disadvantage from people who haven’t had a kid. 😑 And I also got a crazy story that a group of military spouses (I’m one too) banded together, made a team, and absolutely won everything the whole season. But they weren’t the ones who had birthed their kids.
I’m free to answer any questions.
Am i the asshole for not giving my daughters birth certificate as proofed I pushed babies out of my vagina?
How many red flags do you need? Get your child away from these creeps. Yta for keeping her in a team run by sexist, homophic, transphobic people who are looking to take all your money and have no respect for basic privacy and boundaries. This is a culture where preditors thrive. Get out of there asap and report everything to whatever sports body that is overseeing the team.
Edit. Misread, team is OPs not the daughter but I still have the same advice given all the red flags and creepy behaviour.
NTA.
I wouldn’t join that team, too many red flags and a lot of BS. The leaders seem to be control freaks with a touch of dictatorial behaviour.
nah mate this whole thing is sketchy as hell. the cash only fees, the birth certificate obsession, kicking out a lesbian mom.. this aint a soccer league, this is a weird gatekeeping operation. run dont walk
NTA and l don’t know why a fucking soccer league would ever need such personal identifying information. They also just sound like terrible people all around, so idk why you’d want to join them in the first place
When did a football league turn into stepford wives? These women are weird stay far away and don’t get involved- Nta
They probably also want to see what gender is written down.
Find another group of people to spend time with. NTA
NTA but WHY do you want to be in a group with people like these? Honestly I would not even like when someone would think I knew These people and are friends with them… probably make your own mum/parent group?
It’s not just that what you’re describing is a truly disgusting team with a controlling coach with bad values and sticky fingers, it’s that if this is the US and public property of any kind is being used (and maybe even if not), some of the red flags sound a lot like legal issues.
I can’t image why you or anyone else would want to be on this team. It would be much more fun to close it down. Because a team with these rules shouldn’t exist.
NTA
NTA. Find a less batshit crazy group.
Why would you want to join this team anyway?
NTA. Why would you even want to play with these women. Run, run now.
How many red flags do you need here? Just… don’t play? These people sound awful.
NTA
So….. If they turned away a lesbian mother, they would also turn away step mothers and adoptive mothers who had not given birth? That sounds super weird to me, especially if they had a ‘legal guardian’ provision in their charter.
Does the ‘coaches wife’ have a specific position in the team organisation? Or is everyone just giving cash to a random non-affiliated woman.
>I then showed a picture of my daughters birth certificate with everything blacked out except my name. It was not accepted because I had blocked out my daughters name.
>Upon meeting coaches wife, there was a really big interest in my kids, how old they were, names…etc.
This is definitely giving off weird vibes. Is it a cult? Is it a weird form of grooming? I wouldn’t hang around to find out tbh.
I’d go scorched earth on this group chat. “On advice of our family attorney, I’m going to discontinue my participation. Asking for the birth certificate, asking for my child’s information, discriminatory participant practices, combined with cash only payments to a non business entity, raised some questions. They specifically mentioned possible financial fraud, grooming or child trafficking risk. Stay safe everyone!”
Popcorn and a recliner and watch that team fall apart on WhatsApp.