I, \[18F\] live in a household with three siblings \[19M, 13F, 5M\], and my two parents. For a long time, I relied very heavily on them because I had no life outside of my close family. I’ve always had trouble with having friends and socializing in an in person setting. This past year (My senior year of HS) I’ve gotten a job and have started the work on making steps to enlist. This means I don’t have a lot of time to lounge around the house, playing toys with my younger siblings, or even sitting around with my parents all day. \[5M, and 13F for my younger siblings\]. I have been doing my best to give everyone time, even in between my busy schedule. But what I do never seems to be enough, since my mom persists in saying ‘You are ignorant and selfish’ during hour long lectures. If I wake up at 8:00 AM when I have school on a day with work, I have two hours to myself between my school ending and my shift, and then I get off at 10 PM. On a weekend, I wake up at 10, and go to work from 2:00 PM to 12:00 AM. The kids wake up at 11-12:00. I try and be around as much as I can, and it often makes me think of quitting my job, despite having it to set up my future. I’m a very empathetic person, and it really hurts because I was so close to them for so long. But I feel like I need to stop relying on them so much, and that I have to work on my future and do things for myself. I’m not asking if I should cut anyone off or anything like that. I just… want to know if maybe I’m doing too much at once? I’m not sure. I give as much time to my siblings as I can, because I love them. It just… never seems like its enough.
NTA, you wanna succeed in life and these people are holding you back. Yeah, family is nice, but not by the sounds of how they treat you. You do you, kangaroo.
NTA, who is going to fulfill your wants/needs and help you achieve your goals?
Unless your parents are willing to dish out cash to support your lifestyle and help you obtain what you’re reaching for, I would say you have every right to branch out.
If you focus too much on family instead of yourself, you will miss out on life. Living someone else’s dream instead of your own.
NTA @ all. Ex-Military wife here, I’ve been with my husband since 2018, he went to basics 2019. He, like you, has two younger siblings who are now 15 & 12 so v young when he left. His dad & step mom were the same way, saying he’s selfish & going to miss out on the core memories just for himself. That’s the thing about life honey, you live it for yourself & what you’re going to do for yourself & country is going to hopefully set you for life, especially with this much discipline you’re already showing. My husband spent less time with his siblings as he only had to be there 1 day of the week, they’re teens & pre teen now & adore him. If your parents are like this they’ll learn when they’re older you didn’t do anything wrong. We FaceTime them, send cute gifts, he’d send me letters to get to them when he was deployed, all stuff you can do. Him joining set my husband up for success, he has a great career now even after separation from the airforce, I get to be a stay @ home mom with a comfortable life & he gets to have a job he loves & a great schedule. I hope you don’t beat yourself up because it’s amazing what you’re doing.
Don’t let them hold you back! You got this & you’re gonna do great things.
How much time does your 19 year old brother spend with the family. Does he get lectures too?