I (24M) met this girl at my college through a (not-so-close) mutual friend.
We talked a lot, joked about lots of things, but to be very clear, we’re 100% platonic friends.
A week ago, our campus held a ticket giveaway for an event at a theme park, and sold some tickets at steep discount; and I decided to buy one for myself.
However, few days ago I confirmed that none of my friends (at campus) are going to the event; so I was thinking of skipping the event and just go to work and earn some sweet tourist weekend tips.
I contacted this girl that I can’t go to the event, and would like to gift it to her or her friends if they want it. Initially she said yes, then I gave her my address (an apartment complex) and told her to text whenever she’s available to pick it up, and I’ll meet her (or any of her friends) at the lobby.
She replied “can you come to campus?”, to which I replied that I can’t. For context, I live 15 miles away from campus, and my apartment is coincidentally just a mile away from the event location and she can pick it up shortly before the event start. Or she can order an Uber courier to pick it up for her.
No reply since then, I asked again earlier today whether she still wants the ticket, again to no answer.
Tonight, I decided that I want to attend the event, not because of spite, but because I’ve talked with some people on our campus sub. But haven’t informed her of it.
WIBTA if she replies/comes back later and I let her know that I have changed my mind?
Should I just let the ticket go if she pops back up because I’ve made a commitment?
Additional question : (Might be overthinking it) AITA for telling her to come to my apartment complex? To be clear, I have no bad intention, but I now feel how creepy that could sounds like (“A man luring a girl to his place”). That’s why I later offered the Uber pickup option, but she hasn’t read it.
UPDATE : Decided to keep the ticket to myself, and have already texted her about it. I’m still open to new feedbacks for the additional question for future reference 🙂
NTA for asking her to pick up the ticket. But I would text her and just tell her that since you haven’t heard back, you’ve decided to use the ticket yourself.
This is the best action to take.
NTA
NTA but send a message ahead of time saying as you haven’t heard back you’ve decided to go yourself. Don’t just wait to see if she turns up
If she answers, which I doubt, just rell her you gave them to someone else because you couldn’t got a response and you didn’t wanted them to go to waste.
Hi guys!
Thank you for the responses! I will reply every single one of it later.
Posted this while working, so I’ll get back soon 🙂
NTA for any of it.
Being asked to meet a friend in their apartment lobby to pick up something that’s being offered you for free shouldn’t be weird. Expecting it to be delivered and then not responding is.
It would be courteous to text and say “I just wanted to reach out and let you know that I decided to use the tickets tonight.” You can get into her not responding if there’s pushback, but there really shouldn’t be any. It would also be fine to just go without talking again, and explain if she reaches out.
TBH I wouldn’t read into it too much. People can be flakey sometimes.
She never texted you back to arrange a pick up so you haven’t actually given it to her and it’s yours to do with as you please. Just send her a text to clarify that the ticket is no longer available.
NTA
NTA, you have no obligation to drive it to her, but do let her know you used them/plan on using them just in case she somehow does show up at your place
Sounds like she decided not to go and just couldn’t be bothered to let you know. I would just not be bothered to tell her that you are using your ticket yourself. NTA.
NTA nothing youve done is out of line, if I was getting something for free Id expect to have to pick it up too. Id message her and say since you didnt hear from her, youve made other arrangements for the ticket.
NTA for either.
NTA regarding the invite: Idk how long you’ve been hanging out, but you’r on friendly terms, if you were a stranger she met the day before than yeah, a bit creepy, but in this context I’d say no. Also if someone is giving you something you wanted, and they’d have to travel 15 miles, the polite thing is move your ass and g pick it up. If really your concern was the “creepiness”, maybe you could have proposed your workplace, but tbh your approach was ok.
NTA regarding keeping the ticket: it’s yours and she has ghosted you for something she supposedly wanted. Just send a final message saying you changed your mind and that’s it.
Uh, yeah, I was thinking that by you being firm on her coming to your place to pick the tickets up might make her question your real intentions although you wasn’t thinking about it, at the time. Mistakes happen but if she hasn’t gotten back to you than that’s a definite no, so I wouldn’t worry about it.
NTA but id send her a text letting her know