My friend of 9 years was teasing me for lagging behind and as a joke said “hurry up MadeLINE!” She and everyone else typically call me Maddie and I have expressed I don’t like being called my full name but I get it, she was trying to get on my nerves when I played along, awkward laugh and corrected her “hey bub, it’s Madeline!” She doubled down and said “really?” And I stared at her, kinda hurt because bro should really know my name by now but I still kept calm and replied “yeah it always has been.” And she proceeded to defend herself that she had never heard it pronounced that way and that she thought it was a weird was my of pronouncing it. I was already triggered and trying to wrap this up because this should be a simple “oh my bad” situation so I sadly let it go until weeks later when somehow I brought up the time she mispronounced my name and just said that for future reference she should just say sorry instead of arguing with me over my own fucking name and she said “to be honest I’m not really sorry I mispronounced your name. I’m sorry you felt hurt by what I said” to which I was reasonably pissed but just told her calmly that brutal honesty like that is capable of really offending people and that people don’t need to hear that your explicitly not sorry and you should just say your sorry because you hurt a person even if it was a misunderstanding and I explained why it hurt for her to act like she didn’t care because my name is an extension of my identity and then she went on this preechy rant about how she sees identity as this vague concept we can’t capture and I cannot describe how loudly the bullshit alarms were blaring in my head and she had that tone like she thought she was spitting smart shit when she was just being non-committal.
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YTA
Are you nine?
No, she’s MadeNINE
>I still kept calm and replied “yeah it always has been.”
Great response!
>I sadly let it go until weeks later when somehow I brought up the time she mispronounced my name
Why “sadly”? You were right to let it go, and you should have let it stay gone. Bringing it up again weeks later makes YTA. (And it would have made her TA if she’d brought it up.)
Your friend made a joke and you’re blowing it faaar out of proportion OP. Overreacting and being offended over a joke.
My name is hard to pronounce for many people. Sometimes my husband says it wrong on purpose and you know what I do? I laugh.
Because it’s a joke.
What an absolute load of rubbish you spend your time on.
YTA for inflicting this drivel on the good readers of Reddit.
YTA, you’re being overdramatic. I understand being hurt that your friend mispronounced your name, but if she never hears your full name or has only heard it once or twice you can’t really fault her. This is also is definitely not a hill to die on. You corrected her, she was receptive, should have been the end of it.
i think this is an ESH. she shouldn’t have gone on the defensive tirade but you probably also should’ve just let it go. it seems like it was a simple accident especially if everyone calls you “maddie”
“Somehow brought up..” Haha, sure. You obviously did not let it go 😆
YTA. You blew it way out of proportion.
I’m saying this as gently as I can, so pls don’t think I’m trying to be rude. But it’s important to re-read what we write to ensure everything is clear and makes sense.
Editing to add that everyone’s an asshole in this situation. It’s weird for her to double down, but it’s also weird to get this hung up about something that’s quite trivial.
ESH
She can’t know what she doesn’t know. If you never pronounced your name or only a few times when the attention was directed elsewhere, how would she know? Chill tf out. Why make a big deal out of this in the first place.
And then as you said, why did she make a big deal out of what should’ve been a mere “oh ok my bad” like??? Edit Maybe because she felt attacked because you attacked her disproportionately lol, but not a justification
Are yall 11 years old?????
YTA this is so overdramatic for no reason. Get real.
YTA. What a hill to die on..
this is some teenage drama and if you aren’t teenagers, it’s time to grow up. esh.