So I (F 20s) had a birthday invite from my cousin. It was originally supposed to be on Sunday but it got changed to Friday last minute. I only had one day notice. I had work Friday evening but I asked my boss if I could switch and ended up working Friday morning instead so I could go.
After work at 2:00 I had to pick up my sister at 2:30 and I was already running late. I rushed to grab gifts for my cousin. I got some small things like face masks, a basket with her favorite treats, and a $25 gift card. In total I spent about $50.
I rushed straight from work, picked up my sister, then picked up my cousin and we went to the mall, grabbed dinner, and later gave her the gifts.
Later I found out that when my cousin went shopping with her dad, he checked the balance on the gift card and told my aunt it was “only $25.” My aunt got offended and even involved my mom. She also compared it to another cousin who gave $100.
I am honestly hurt because I rearranged my schedule, rushed all day, and spent about $50 total. Now I feel embarrassed about what I gave and it makes me not even want to go to birthdays anymore.
AITA for only giving a $25 gift card?
NTA – at all.
The person who complains about a gift they are given is the asshole… not the giver.
NTA
Your cousin should be grateful for anything she received, especially for last minute rescheduling a party to a day where most people will be at work. Your aunt is a meddling drama queen.
NTA.
Sometimes, people expect too much. 50 bucks is fine for a bday gift.
Nope. You aren’t even obligated to give them a gift, just a card. This says all you need to know. Opt out of the comparisons and competition.
No way are you at fault in this! Your family decided to monetize everything, and they are TA. What a bunch of selfish louses! I hope your mom stood up for you and told auntie to shove it, if she didn’t then she has some explaining to do!
NTA by a long mile.
What did your aunt and uncle give you for your most recent birthday
I would stop inviting them to your events if all they care about is money.
NTA, but don’t blame the cousin unless you know she’s the one who made a stink. It could be the parents are the ones that are entitled. I’ve never had a cousin even send me a birthday card, much less give me money. That’s not a given to me.
NTA regardless but I’m curious. What did that cousin give you for your most recent birthday? what did your aunt give you?
NTA, you were very thoughtful and generous, particularly at the last moment. Your aunt and cousin are rude and absurd so I’d go low contact with them. I’m curious if your mom spoke up for you and if not, I’d consider distancing from her. I’d text all three: “I don’t have the income at 20 to give the kind of gifts that are expected so if several gifts and a gift card I needed to do at the last minute are beneath you, then don’t invite me,”
NTA
People should appreciate gifts. Especially monetary ones.
Get her a card next year. A birthday card, not a gift card.
You’re 20 years old. What you have was thoughtful and appropriate, especially considering the circumstances.
NTA. Your aunt is the A. Shame on her for being so shallow and ungrateful. And your mother should have defended you.