Im a 33 y/o male and my now ex 28 y/o female carla had been acting off recently. In the same way she acted when she first cheated on me a year ago. Too many of the same redflags had arose. Protective over her phone, constantly on her phone, and always said she needed to go do these storm chasing meetings or promotions, spending sometimes 3- 5 days at a time with a bunch of guys i know nothing about but only that she cheated with one of them the first time. She recently broke up with me and had put alot the blame on me. After her gaslighting rant, i had the same feeling that she may be talking to another guy. Of course she denying ever talking to anyone.
After a week passed i went to the house she currently lives in (We used to live there, i had permission from her grandma) was going to pick up my dehydrator to make jerky for our kiddo.Before entering the place i asked where my dehydrator was at so i could grab it. Inside door was open and unlocked, i walked inside. After finding what i needed i was about to walk out. Well in doing so i noticed no old pictures hung up except for pictures of clouds and 1 of her and this guy i recognized from her pictures of her storm chasing together. After digging on facebook it caught my attention that as long as they have known each other. They always stood together in photos which started to make more sense. Then i got a text from her telling me its not my house anymore and needed to leave, so i did but finally understood why she always had excuse as to why i could never go up. Thats where i may have gotten petty. I texted her im not sure why you dont want me up there, im not gona go around looking at your photos. After going back and forth about cheating on me again. She said to mind my own business. Ironicly that guy (drew) didnt seem to mind his own business. One way street i suppose.
Continueing the more photos i seem of them together the more i got upset and hurt. What seemed like forever searching facebook i found out hes married with kids. Storm chasing is the perfect cover apperently to leave randomly with a bunch of people or just 1. Wasnt sure if i should let his wife know about the situation. I finally decided f**k it. Its the right thing to do. I did admit to her how much i knew and how but i dont know if it was the right thing to do. I get drew ruined my family. But was it the right thing to do the same to his? AITA?
NTA
But really? Staying with someone after already getting cheated on is user error bro
NTA
She deserves the information to decide how she wants to live the rest of her life.
What information? All OP has is suppostion and suspicion.
Your evidence is that she was in a bunch of photos with the guy and stood next to him from a hobby group?
I mean it does sound like that’s the most likely thing happening, but that isn’t really evidence on its own.
NTA,
Did the same 28 yrs ago. Shared info without drama, clean, to the point without pointing fingers.
She left him and a 1, 4 and 6yr old pay until they were all 18yrs
They FAFO.
I am too hung up on “female carla”
You threw a grenade into someone’s house over some PICTURES where they were simply standing near each other? Man I hope there’s more to that or you’re definitely the AH.
I hope you at least told the wife all of your ‘evidence’ so she can make an informed decision.
The problem as I see it is you really have no proof. If this guy is innocent, you just destroyed his family for no reason other than petty spite for your ex. Your ex might just have a crush on him. Or it’s a coincidence because they’re in the same group. Or she stands next to him because he’s not the one she’s cheating with. Your ex might be with someone else entirely. YTA because you actually don’t know.
She deserves to know. You d8d the right thing. That’s how I found out about my ex.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
NTA. I would want to know and she probably will be checking it out for herself. In fact, she may have had a suspicion, herself. It’s the right thing to do.
uhhhh do you have any proof besides the fact they stand next to each other in photos??? if not, then YTA
He ruined his family. You allowed her a freedom
Obviously that is if you actually have proof. Because pictures together is not
OP: Read until “she cheated a year ago.” Stopped reading. You’re NTA, you’re a wuss for taking her back. You made your bed…