23 live with my mom. I feel stuck. Not seeking therapy just want to know if I’m the bad guy in this situation. I currently pay around 700$ worth of bills or so I thought it was going towards the rent. I’m unsure it’s what she requested I pay so sure I pay it. It’s been like that few years I’ve been Slowly saving to go travel international and study abroad. This year comes my mother ask if I could pay the full rent around 1250. I unfortunately cannot. I make around 2500-2600$ monthly after tax and still have my own set of personal bills around car insurance , car maintenance etc. she gets a 1000$ check for disability monthly. I’ve been treating this like a roommate situation. I told her I could pay 1k max she accepted it at first. Suddenly she goes off on me and says I’m like everyone else not helping and watching her struggle. She says I think it’s okay for her to use all her money every month but I don’t want to use mine? She’s aware I’m saving to study abroad. I’m working everyday. I pay what she ask me to pay. And suddenly and I mean very suddenly everything becomes an issue out of nowhere. I’ve become a villain for wanting to try and leave and do something I want. I understand what she’s saying but she wants me to pour my everything into our family and then nothing into investing in myself because that’s selfish. It was the same when I purchased my first car. I purchased Manuel car. She got upset because I got something she couldn’t drive. I feel stuck. Like I’m being guilt tripped when it comes to anything I want. Am I really a selfish person? I did agree I could do 300$ more. But anymore cuts into my own savings and other things I need to pay. I struggle just like her what makes me the bad guy? Her car recently broke I tried everything I could to do. It needs a trans. Apparently it’s my fault I cannot afford her another one while I proceed to drive my 1998 car with 280k miles. It’s like she thinks I have a secret money stash and I’m watching her struggle meanwhile I’m also struggling .. help please if I’m wrong let me know .. but from her and my family perspective I will always be wrong
You will always be wrong and your rent will always be ‘everything you earn’
Don’t play that game. NTA for not wanting to support your mom – you need to find your feet first.
Move out.
NTA. Your mom is on disability. $1000 a month isn’t much. She needs to find a cheaper place because who is going to support her when you leave? Don’t let her guilt trip you. I did everything I could so that my daughter could get a good education and be successful. That’s something that will pay off in the future.