I’m a single mom to 3 kids (8m, 5f, 4f). I have a nanny, Emilia (20f), that picks the kids up from school, takes them to their extracurriculars, manages homework, and sets up play dates for the kids.
Emilia’s family is complicated. She moved in with her grandmother at 15 and no longer speaks to her parents. Emilia’s grandmother was her best friend. She also became an adoptive grandparent to my kids. She knew their birthdays, sent cookies, and had all of us over for dinner every couple weeks.
Her grandmother passed over the summer. Emilia told me that she was planning to move out of her grandmother’s house because she couldn’t stay there without her. She asked me to help her look at apartments.
My house has a finished basement with a bedroom, bathroom, kitchenette, and living room. I offered for Emilia to move into the basement and have her pay $300/mo including utilities. She’s been here for 5 months and it’s been great. It’s almost like taking in a 4th child but one that cooks and does the girls hair in the mornings.
My brother called a few weeks ago saying that he and his wife were losing their apartment. He asked if he, his wife, and their kids (3f, 1m) could move into the basement apartment. I told him Emilia was living in the apartment and I couldn’t just kick her out.
He suggested moving her into the guest room/the kids playroom so they could stay in the apartment but I told him I won’t be displacing Emilia.
He and the rest of my family are upset that I’m prioritizing my nanny over my brother and his family when I could easily move her into the playroom and make things work for everyone.
NTA, you have a tenant so the apartment is not available.
Info: Why can’t the rest of the family take them in?
The rest of the family knows they’d never leave. That’s why they don’t want to.
NTA. You don’t have a basement apartment available, you have a tenant. Emilia pays rent, and is entitled to the same protections as any other tenant. The family bitching at you can step up for your brother and provide him with housing.
Exactly Emilia is her tenant and part of her household. She can’t just displace her because her brother had poor planning. That would be unfair .
NTA.
You are NTA, she pays rent for that basement and by default should have tenet rights. It sucks for your brother, but it was your nanny’s apartment first.
NTA having Emilia living in your home is completely different than having your brother and family stay.
I would be very worried that your brother and his family would move in and would not leave. I think it’s too open ended. It would be different if he had closed on a house and there was a gap before he could move in or something but this feels too open ended.
For any family moaning just suggest they let them move in with them!
NTA. She is technically a paying tenant. You would have to go through the whole eviction process. Though I find it weird you are both paying her as a nanny then taking the money back in rent.
NTA you have a tenant and employee living in the space. Plus adding 4 other people to the house using the washing machine, kitchen etc will undoubtedly add to your stress levels. The family giving you a hard time should offer up their space. Also how much rent have they offered you?
Ask the rest of the family why you must be the only one to sort your brother’s mess? Seriously none of them have a spare room to house your brother?
To demand you chuck your nanny out of her home? He’s nasty. And if he had moved into that basement he would take full advantage of a live in nanny without contributing anything.
NTA
Emilia is part of your life and your children’s lives.
Your brothers problems are not your emergency. No you absolutely do not kick out your nanny for the entitled AH.
NTA
NTA.
Also i bet your brother woild expect her to watch his kids without any additional payment to her. “She’s already watching your kids, why cant she just watch ours too?”
NTA. You have a tenant. I doubt the space is large enough for your brother’s entire family, anyway. Also, having a live-in nanny is a much different dynamic when there are more children in the home, but their parent pays nothing. I bet brother would complain that she “treats his kids different.”
I wouldn’t say it’s prioritizing her. The space is rented to somebody else. It’s not available.