Okay let’s try this again folks. I tried to dumb it down a lot because it was confusing to read so this should be a better version lol.
I went to a drag show on Friday with my friends. That night my friend Alex told me she was a lesbian so we got excited since I’m also a lesbian and talked about how we can have double dates and it’ll be so fun. Then my other straight friend that was there that night texts me the next day and says “I think it’s weird to make your whole personality about being gay. It made me feel left out because I’m not gay and I have a boyfriend. It’s not that hard to find something else to talk about”. She now is wanting me to never talk about being gay again. I don’t understand why this is so wrong to talk about? I was just excited bc I have no gay friends.So AITAH?
NTA. You shouldn’t have to hide an aspect of your life for anyone. Your friend should be open to hearing about your dating life & relationships regardless of gender.
nta. she doesn’t want you talking about being gay but she mentions her boyfriend??
NTA. Let her go from your life. She’s projecting something and its not worth your peace to find out. You did nothing wrong.
NTA there’s a way she could’ve said she felt left out without being homophobic.
i’d just not invite her to specifically lesbian events
NTA!!
What an entitled little prick. She isn’t a friend to you!
NTA
(Assuming there’s nothing relevant missing)
F\*cking wow! It’s one thing to feel left out of a conversation, it’s another thing ENTIRELY to forbid someone from talking about an aspect of their life. Especially given how the conversation came up!
Your “friend” is disrespectful at best.
I’d reevaluate the friendship. \*But I have no time for most of humanity\*
lmao. your friend needs to get over herself. the entire wider world is centered around straight people. she can stand to be involved in a conversation where her experience isn’t centered for a night and survive it. she’ll be okay. tell her that if she doesn’t want her gay friends to talk about being gay at a drag show, or ever, that she needs to repeat what she just said out loud to herself and try again. NTA.
NTA your friend is being a baby, especially if you guys are old enough to get into a drag show (usually 21+). Cool straight people are not intimidated by their friends being gay and would understand that sometimes gay people talk about being gay.
>She now is wanting me to never talk about being gay again
So she gets to talk about her life, and her boyfriend, but she becomes intolerant when you do.
Gotcha.
NTA for being human
NTA. Being gay is not just an “orientation”, there is a whole world of queer-culture and community attached to it. Straight people don’t understand this, and you need to explain it to them like they’re five.
She got upset because you were talking about being gay…at a drag show.
Also. Why would she feel left out? She dates people too. She could have joined in the conversation without needing to be gay. I’ve never once felt left out when my gay friends talk about being gay or about dating. If there are any portions of the conversation I can’t relate to, well newsflash, I don’t always need to be the one talking.
Obvious NTA.
At best, she’s feeling left out as a third wheel or perhaps hurt that you don’t have interest in double dates with her. At worst, she’s just blatantly homophobic.
Going to a drag show then complaining about hearing gay things is wild, why was she even there?
NTA. The thing about straight people feeling this way is that they DO talk about being straight all the time, but because it’s the standard they don’t realize how prominent it is everywhere. They talk about their boyfriends, their dating, their musical artists with straight content, their straight romance shows and movies. If she’s otherwise been a great friend and is just uneducated, I’d maybe educate her on this and then proceed to talk about being gay as much as you want. If that bothers her, maybe she’s not meant to be your friend. That being said, some lgbt content has gotten to the point of “straight people suck” which, you can imagine, is not very nice. We don’t want them to say queer people suck, so the reverse also not ideal.
Also, as with any social interaction… if you know your friend isn’t interested in tennis but you talk about tennis for an hour with another tennis friend in the group… yeah. She might get bored. You may be a bit rude. Make sure you do talk about media or hobbies or whatever she is interested in sometimes too, and not just talk about gay double dates she’s not invited on the whole time. I assume you have some shared conversation topics or you wouldn’t be friends.
In general though… don’t let other people control how you express yourself! Best of luck