My son (5) has autism first of all. He is not good with changes to routine , social settings or new people. His father just got out of prison after 3 years. (He was in prison for trafficking illegal substances and possession of firearms)
Even before that he has not seen our son since his first birthday party, he would choose his lifestyle over our son and try to paint me as the bad guy keeping him away. He has never been very involved at any point in our son’s life.
He now wants to have visitation with our son, but is still living the same lifestyle as he was prior to prison. I do not want him coming into our sons life, possibly putting him at risk, start to build a relationship if he’s not committed to being a permanent part of his life, or disrupt his routine without the right intentions.
AITAH if I say no to him coming for visits?
My brother was in a similar situation. If he takes you to court he’ll probably win visitation unless you can prove he’s been abusive to him
I really hate family court for this. They always want give too many chances to parents when it’s the kids who suffer.
INFO
Why was your son’s father in prison in the first place? Why do you seem to believe that his lifestyle is detrimental to your son?
He was caught with illegal substances and firearms. I believe the people he surrounds himself with and the things he does could potentially put my son at risk if his father makes the wrong person angry.
Alrighty, NTA then.
Imho growing up without a father is better than growing up with a father who is involved in drug dealings. Especially for a boy – sooner or later he will look for a male role model.
Info: are drugs and/or violence involved in this “lifestyle”?
Both yes.
I assumed so, but just wanted to confirm.
NTA. But as the other commenter said, if the father seeks visitation through the courts, you may not be able to stop it.
NTA given the reasons why he was in jail, but lawyer up as he can go through court!
NTA. Putting his own lifestyles and wants above his child’s is poor, as is trying to paint you as the bad guy for trying to protect your son. What a shame that he didn’t use his time away to reflect on his choices and role as a father.
You need legal advice. What you want isn’t that important, he has a right to see his son. You need to prove that wouldn’t be in the child’s best interests, speak to a lawyer.
I can see why you would feel this way BUT see a lawyer first.
You’ll probably have to at least offer supervised visits.
Otherwise he may take you to court and suddenly your son has to do weekends with a stranger.
Would it be (formally) supervised visitation?
You shouldn’t be asking reddit this, you should be asking a lawyer