I’m wondering if I’m the asshole here because some people in my life think I handled this badly.I used to live in another city where I had a business with a couple of friends. The business was actually doing well and things were pretty stable. We had built it together and it was growing.Recently my grandmother passed away and left her house to me in her will. My parents suggested that I sell the house, but I didn’t feel right about that. My grandma meant a lot to me, and knowing the kind of person she was, I felt like she would have wanted the house to stay in the family and actually be lived in. So instead of selling it, I decided to move to the city where the house is located and live there. Because of the move, I also decided to start a new business in this city. That meant leaving my old city, my friends, and my business partners behind. Now some of them feel like I abandoned them or walked away from something we built together, especially since the business was doing well. From my perspective, I felt like I was making a life decision based on family, my grandmother’s legacy, and a new opportunity. I Didn’t do it out of spite or because things were bad. I just felt this was the right move for me.
So now I’m wondering: AITA for leaving my friends and business partners to move to another city and start a new chapter, instead of selling my grandmother’s house and staying?
There’s a whole lot of detail missing here, before anyone can answer correctly.
Did you just pack up and leave? Did you sit down with your partners and help them plan what would happen with the business when you’re gone? Did you take anything with you that they needed?
How can you possibly expect us to pass judgement on how you exited a business partnership without telling us HOW you exited it?
Yep. If the business has a brick-and-mortar location that depended on OP’s hands-on, in-person labor and they just up and bailed without securing a replacement or working out a transition plan, that’s a major YTA. If the partnership can be maintained remotely it shouldn’t be an issue at all, provided the partners were looped in.
INFO: Did your leaving mean that the business is likely to fail?
NTA – You aren’t married to these people. You have a right to relocate, start a new business, get a new job, etc. I’m assuming they had to buy you out? Is that what they’re disgruntled about?
One thing I would suggest about starting a business with partners, make sure you all agree on an exit plan up front. What happens when someone wants out. What’s the buyout plan. How much notice do they have to give. All of that stuff. It makes leaving a business easier. Never assume it will last forever.
I think NTA for doing it, but I don’t know how you talked to your friends/business partners about it. If you just suddenly said, “Welp, I’m leaving!” out of the blue all of a sudden, I could understand their reaction. It really comes down to how you communicated everything.
NTA. It’s your right to decide when you are done doing the thing and move on.
Now, if you said that you left the biz to start up a competitor in the same city… then yes. But you have deeply personal reasons that defy business logic. Them asking you to place THEIR business over YOUR personal life is wrong.
Look, I’ve known people that have pivoted their careers on a dime. You know what I said to them? :
“Congratulations! It was great working with you. Hope the new endeavor goes well, let’s keep in touch.”
Info: how abrupt was this? Is the other business likely to fail without you?
Generally, if a lot of people think your the asshole, you just might be.
NTA. You’d only be the AH if you didn’t leave enough time to properly transition your responsibilities in that business (hire and train replacement, etc.).
>I felt like I was making a life decision based on family, my grandmother’s legacy, and a new opportunity
Sometimes you just gotta follow your heart.
Some life opportunities are one-shot deals. You took it, now don’t look back.
Your other company is still doing well? They can find another partner, or manage without you. That’s business. It’s not a daycare.
NTA, and good luck!
Maybe. There is insufficient context to make a realistic assessment. If this is the level of info you share with your business partners before disappearing probably. There is no handover, no planning, no opportunity to prepare mentioned. Even if you’re a CEO you don’t get to just walk away, there’s a notice period and succession plan.
If they were a cheating spouse of partner sure – disappear, but a business partner, with no history of issues deserves respect.
If however you r been carrying all the load of the business and the partners have been coasting off your work and getting equal benefits, then probably not the AH.
So at the moment it’s more of a chose your own adventure question than an AITA question IMO.
INFO. Are your friends able to continue the business without your support? Did you figure out a way to exit the business without causing them any type of harm? Moving wouldn’t necessarily make you TA, depending on how your departure affects them. Did you give them notice or just up and leave? Information like this is pretty critical to an accurate judgement here.
Did you sell your part of the business to the others? Did they not take on anyone else after you left? You have given your perspective but you didn’t tell us what consequences, if any, your business partners faced when you left.
Did you communicate this with your business partners? It doesn’t seem like it, but maybe I’m seeing things that aren’t there.
INFO: lots of missing context here. How much notice did you give them? Did you just up and leave and not tell everyone? Did you pull any sort of funding from the business? Is there any way that you can work remotely with them? Did you start a competing business in the new city?