I (24F) asked my friend (25F) if she could watch my cat for a weekend while I was out of town for a wedding. It was about two and a half days total. My cat is pretty low maintenance. My friend lives only about 10 minutes away and said yes pretty casually when I asked, like it wasn’t a big deal.
Before I left, I stocked everything up and made it as easy as possible. I also told her she could hang out at my apartment, use my streaming services, snacks, whatever. When I got back, I thanked her and told her I really appreciated it.
A few days later she made a comment like, “Usually people at least bring back a gift or something when someone pet-sits for them.” I was kind of caught off guard because she never mentioned expecting anything beforehand. I didn’t think of it as a paid or formal favor, more like a normal friend helping another friend out.
Now I’m wondering if I accidentally broke some kind of unspoken rule? Some of my friends say a thank you is enough, but others say it’s common to bring back a small gift or dinner as a thank-you.
AITA for not getting her a gift after she watched my cat for the weekend?
i mean i’d pay my friend for doing it
Yes, I would normally get someone a bottle of wine or a 20-50 gift card to their favorite restaurant or coffee place. Something to show my appreciation for taking care of my cat.
YTA. Always pay the person watching your pets. I even pay my roommate to feed and scoop the litter boxes when I’m gone. I have always been paid when watching friends pets. It’s not something people expect to do for free.
Yeah, I usually pay people for caring for my pet while I’m away, & have been paid for doing the same for others. If she didn’t ask to be paid beforehand maybe a lunch or something would have been a good way to say “thank you”
Yes it’s customary to get your pet sitter something.
You mean you didn’t pay her? And didn’t get her anything? YTA
A more formal thank you would be more appropriate – buy her dinner, a bottle of wine, whatever. She interrupted her normal life to do you a favour
YTA – Payment, gift card or a gift is common practice in exchange for pet sitting. Especially if they had to drive to your house, gas isn’t cheap. If I was your friend I wouldn’t have asked for anything afterwards in the way she did, but I would reconsider saying yes next time if my time doesn’t seem appreciated.
Sorry, YTA unless you two take turns petsitting for each other. You should have at least tried to pay her and given her the chance to turn down the money. Expecting anyone to do it for free is wild.
YTA
Yes cats are low maintenance. But you saved $140++ for the two nights away and there was no effort on your part because the cat stayed home, while your friend was inconvenienced and it cost her time (=money). The commute to your place multiple times, cleaning the litter box, possibly arranging her plans to feed the cat on schedule.
I pet sit often for friends and family, never expect anything in return but they’ve ALWAYS brought some token of appreciation. It’s not that hard to get a box of chocolates.
YTA. I wouldn’t think you should pay her but at least bring her a small token of thanks like some chocolates or a bottle of wine. That’s pretty customary for a favor that takes more than an instant.
It’s true, a gift or payment is due here. Next time, discuss beforehand what compensation is required. I cat sit for neighbours and usually get $20 a day for two good visits. Soft YTA. But have a chat and offer her a thank you card with some cash, and ask if this is enough.
Yta it is definitely good manners to pay anyone caring for your pets/house and if not pay then definitely a gift as a thank you.
Telling someone who has their own place 10 min away, probably has their own streaming services, that they are welcomed to hang out, use what ever,and then treat it like it’s some big magnanimous offer, compensation, is wrong. It was a generous offer,esp to get snacks for her,but still a gift card,wine, thank you card with 50.00 would be appreciated and appropriate. Her snark comment was passive aggressive for sure and not appropriate. Next time,if there is one, show some appreciation besides “hang out here.” Having someone hang out would be a bonus so your cat would have companionship.
Or at least offer to.pay,most friends would say no,but of course you still would give them something