So I (F19) recently started texting this guy (M20) again, and I just missed his voice etc. And it was ok the first call then we called on Snapchat and I was about to tell him I was nonbinary, but then I remembered he was kinda homophobic and called nonbinary people "confused stupid people" . So I stopped myself and I got anxious he’d make fun of me (he would’ve been the first person I told) then when he heard he asked what I was going to say, I said nevermind and tried to start a different conversation, he kept pushing me and I snapped because he wouldn’t drop it for over an hour! And he started saying there was no need for attitude, so I calmed down and set a Boundry, I said I didn’t like when he pushed me for answers over and over, when I clearly said no and he said ok whatever just no need to talk to me in that tone. Then I wish I was joking he asked again not for comedic jokes but dead serious, so I said I’m just gonna go and hung up. I get it i was kinda ignorant and a little rude anyway, he starts ghosting me and says "he’s busy" then it turns into straight "no I’m good" so I ask what’s up and he told me he pissed off I got mad at him for crossing my boundaries, and I was gagged and I didn’t know what to say so he unadded me off of a game we play and in our last convo he said he does that as a warning that he’s considering blocking me? Did I go too far?
I’m sorry… I don’t mean to be an ass but goodness love, please add some punctuation and break this into sentences.
This person doesn’t sound nice. I think you’re better off not communicating with them.
you didn’t feel comfortable. you don’t need that type of person in your life. cut it short now. he will never let it go. NTA
NTA. But…why on earth are you interested in being friends with someone that is basically calling you “confused and stupid”? There are so many people who are kinder. No, you didn’t go too far. You didn’t go far enough because you need to block him yourself, then be done with him.
Why are you talking to someone who wouldn’t accept you. Ditch this dude he sounds like an AH
I can’t even understand what the question is?
So this guy pressures you for answers when you’re not comfortable… if he’s happy to cross boundaries for this, what would happen if you guys became a couple and it was around intimacy?
You feel anxious telling him things because you know his reaction will be bad.
He ignores you and punishes you for holding a boundary instead of respecting you?
You are NTA, you need to block this walking 🚩immediately and move on with your life. Good luck!
NTA. Did you go too far? Dude, you didn’t go too far enough! Read your post and pretend it’s your little sister or best friend that wrote it and see how you feel about the say the guy is acting.
Hopefully now you’ve learned not to waste hours of your life arguing with strangers online, especially ones that you know are purposely argumentative and not accepting.
ESH. You should never have put yourself through that.
You should block him. He’s a jerk and a bigot, is definitely dangerous to your emotional health and very possibly dangerous to your physical health if you were to meet in person.
Next time you see a red flag from a guy, drop him immediately. The more time you waste on jerks like this, the lead time you have to find decent people who will become true friends and possibly romantic partners. Save your energy for people who are worth it!
Fyi – a boundary only works if there’s an action you will take if someone crosses it. Otherwise you’re just sharing your feelings, not setting a boundary.
“I don’t like it when you push me to tell you things.” – Feeling
“I will not accept someone pushing me to tell them something when I’ve said no. If you do it again I will hang up and block you for 24 hours so I can have some peace.” – Boundary
Then do it.
>I was about to tell him I was nonbinary, but then I remembered he was kinda homophobic
Talk about burying the lead here.