About a week ago I sent out invites for my birthday. This year I decided to take a small trip with my friends. On the invite I put the date (which is 2 months out exactly) and a note saying that those interested needed to let me know ASAP so I can get the money from them for a rental and expressed that it would be no more than $100 a person. And I would eat the rest of the cost if it was more.
One of them reached out to me angry that I expected people to pay to attend my party. I tried to explain that it was just part of the air bnb cost and that I was covering everything else.
So AITAH for asking my friends to help pay for the rental?
NTA. you were up front about the cost. if they don’t want to/can’t pay, they don’t have to attend. if you’d sprung this on them at the last minute that would be another matter
No. They don’t have to come.
If they don’t want to pay they shouldn’t attend.
NTA
You’re allowed to do what you want for your birthday.
As long as you’re not going to be upset with the people that cannot afford to attend, I don’t see an issue with this
Not at all! I totally understand that it is a pretty significant amount of money and life is busy so I’ll be sad but totally fine if they aren’t able to
NTAH If they are aware they need to pitch in and they get mad then they do not need to go, not everyone is rich.
NTA
The person with the issue about paying should simply decline.
The problem you have is in making it a birthday trip. People don’t always respond well when someone wants to throw a party and charge. It would be better to ask if they wanted to get together for a weekend and ask what everyone’s budget would be. You would not get to make the weekend into all about celebrating you, however. That is the flip side. Either be a member of a group or a host.
It would be crazy for them to expect you to pay for everyone. If they don’t wanna pay then they don’t need to go. Whenever I go on a trip I always pay for myself.
NTA
You’re not asking people to pay to attend your party, you’re asking them to pay to participate in a trip that includes an airbnb…. Two completely different things. Your headline is also misleading. You’re not asking them to pay for it, you’re asking them to pay for themselves. It’s no different than me saying to my friends “Hey, I’m planning on going skiing for my birthday weekend. Anyone that wants to go, it’s $200”. These folks have a choice. They can participate or not. You’re asking them to cover the cost for themselves, not themselves and you.
NTA. Does this friend expect you to completely cover everyone’s trips? It’s a destination party, people usually pay their own way, and if you can’t or don’t want to spend you should just politely decline.
I don’t think $100 for a weekend is unreasonable, and in fact is quite generous.
Last year me and 7 friends went to a concert in LA. 2 live there and 6 of us flew in and we all got rooms in the same hotel. A few shared rooms and a few got our own. Everyone took care of our own flights and hotel. I bought all 8 concert tickets so we’d be together ($240 each) and everyone paid me back within a day or two. They all treated me to an amazing dinner, we took turns covering UBER but mostly we took care of ourselves. There was a spreadsheet at the end where people could get compensated if needed but it ended up being pretty even. Every one of us had a great time and said the trip was one of the highlights of last year.
Edit to add: this was for my 50th! I was the first to turn 50 so now I guess I’m on the hook for big trips over the next few years lol.
That sounds like so much fun! This isn’t gonna be anything that extravagant lol we aren’t even 2 hours from where we will be staying!