Hi, 20f here. I live in a house of 8 people but this concerns my friend L. Our kitchen is divided up so we each have a bottom cupboard and a top cupboard and the counter space between the two is considered that person’s and is where they can store stuff and cook. We also have two hobs, both of which are on the side of the kitchen with my cupboards (its a rectangle shape).
My cupboards are the first on the left side, so the fridge is against one side, there’s about 30cm of counter space and then it’s the first hob, another 30cm counter and the other hob. So I typically use that first 30cm when I cook as it’s my area of the counter where I store stuff and all my stuff is right there.
My friend L’s cupboard/stuff is on the opposite side of the kitchen and for some reason L will use my area of the counter when she cooks despite the second 30cm on the other side. As long as I’m not cooking, I don’t mind this and we usually eat at different times. She also fails to clean up a lot, but that’s another issue.
Tonight she was cooking a big chilli but I also needed to make pasta sauce. She started first so had her stuff all over my area. I didn’t say anything, just started using the second area, but obviously had to keep going round her/asking her to move to get into my cupboard and get my stuff. She said "Can’t you just go over there" (there being the opposite counter on the other side of the kitchen with no hob where her cupboard is). I said no of course not, all my stuff is right here I’m not gonna move. She got really huffy and make a big fuss of moving her stuff so I had my counter space back. She’s ignored me for the rest of the evening after that.
Personally, it’s my counter space it’s where all my stuff is I think I’m being fair enough letting her use it when I don’t, but if I want to to I think I should be given priority. AITA?
INFO: Did you eat anything they cooked? Are you on an eating schedule?
No we don’t ever share meals and also no we eat when we want.
NTA. If the counter is assigned to you and all your stuff is there, it makes sense that you get priority when you’re actually cooking. You were already being nice letting her use it when you weren’t. Getting annoyed when you needed your own space back is kind of unreasonable, especially when there was another spot she could use.
if what you call your counter space is by the hob then that seems the best place to be preparing food and unreasonable to expect her not to use it. she might be an ah for not cleaning up after herself but for the question asked YTA. if she was cooking first then wait for her to finish
There are two hobs and counter space between them and on the other side. This 30cm is just my spot, everyone else has their own too mine just happens to be by the hob. And like I said, I let her use it when I’m not but I can’t really move my cooking anywhere else bc all my stuff is there in my cupboards.
Respectfully disagree. They shouldn’t have to wait to cook their food because someone else is in their allotted space
ESH because this is kind of a ridiculous system. I guess she should honor it if it’s what you all agreed to, but it makes no sense. Dividing up cabinets sure that makes sense, but the counter should be available to whoever is cooking at that time. 30 cm is less than a foot, it’s not enough space to cook.
ESH, why are you dividing counter space?
Well I moved into this house I didn’t set up the system. It’s more like the area under your cupboard you put your stuff you want on the counter like utensil pots or like I have a butter dish. In terms of cooking, it’s mainly me stuck because the hob splits it up and there’d be a lot of coming and going if I tried to cook anywhere else because I’d have to keep going back to my cupboard. The other side of the kitchen is one long counter that people cook vaguely in their area, it’s not like we’ve got markers down or anything.
NTA if all your stuff is there and you need to cook, what else were you supposed to do? Imo once she saw you were coming to cook she should have started moving her things away from your things. Portion everything out, chop what you need to chop, mise en place, and then cook since it sounds really small in there.
Thanks, in all honesty she was mostly done her stuff was just simmering on the hob it was just rubbish/leftover bits of cooking so she didn’t really even need the counter space anyway.
NTA how were you going to go “over there” if all of your stuff was in the cupboards she was standing in front of? Maybe you should have just started using the items in her cupboard and see what she said then. She likes your counter space because it’s between the hob and the refrigerator.
I hope you aren’t cleaning up her mess when she cooks.
Usually I let the mess slide because we are friends. Not sure I’ll be doing that anymore.
If it’s set up so that each person has their own counter space and cupboard, then that’s how it should be used. She shouldn’t be allowed to break the rules at your expense. It’s not reasonable to expect you to wait till she’s finished cooking because 8 people live in that house and there aren’t enough hours around dinnertime for you (or any of the occupants) to have to wait for others before you use you own counter space to cook your own dinner. The system is set up so that each person can cook and if everyone follows the system it should work out. She just wants to ignore the system when it suits her.
NTA.