I 27M have a younger sister 24F who I’ve always tried to support. About a year ago she asked to borrow a decent amount of money because she was behind on rent. She promised she would pay me back within two months. I didn’t hesitate and transferred it the same day.
Two months passed. Then three. Then six. Every time I gently brought it up she’d say she was struggling but would sort me out soon. Eventually, she stopped bringing it up entirely I never got a single payment back not even a small one.
Last week she called me again asking for another loan because her car needs repairs. I told her I wasn’t comfortable lending her more money until she paid back what she already owes me. She got upset and said I was being selfish and that family is supposed to help each other. Our mom even called me saying I should just help her out and stop keeping score.
I told them both that helping doesn’t mean being taken advantage of Now my sister isn’t speaking to me and my mom says I’ve damaged the relationship over money.
I feel guilty because I know she’s struggling but I also feel like I’m just setting a boundary after being burned once already. Am I wrong for refusing the second loan and possibly embarrassing her by bringing up the unpaid debt? Am the ass hole?
NTA
your mom can pay for it if its such a big deal to her to help family 🙂