I am planning on taking a trip for my senior year, and I am not limited anywhere so I could go outside the U.S. if I wanted to.
I am wanting to go with my immediate family including my parents, siblings, cousin and possibly my niece, if possible,but I am afraid my mom is going to automatically include her best friend, husband and their child who my mom is all very close with, but I’m not however because she got a kidney transplant from her best friend. I am not one to be Immediate inseparable with someone I know for a day, I’ve technically known these people for a few years but I never really liked them.
These people travel everywhere with us (if it is on a flight) so I wouldn’t imagine they aren’t going.
But the thing is, I don’t want them to.. because I want my immediate family I am scared on talking to my mom about this because I assume she will take in the wrong way and guilt trip me or just have them come anyway without my opinion even though it’s my trip or she could even cancel it just because I don’t want them going-
all for me wanting immediate forever family going I am even feeling bad about it just because they travel everywhere with us, but I wanted this for my immediate family and myself.
Am I the asshole?
Are you in the wrong for not *wanting* them to go? No. But, are you paying for the trip? No? If your mom is paying for the trip and wants to include her bff, you would be TA for telling her she can’t.
I am a little confused about the kidney transplant. Are you saying your *mom* got the kidney from her bff? If so, then it’s no wonder she’s close with her! This woman literally *saved your mother’s life* by having major, painful surgery and giving up a valuable piece of herself! If that’s the case, the least you could do is be a little gracious.
The whole family doesn’t have to enshrine the friend forever by prioritizing them on every occasion, over any family member even at their once in a lifetime personal life events, because of this. The friend and her family not coming for one event shouldn’t be a problem unless there is some kind of unhealthy dynamic going on.
Absolutely NTA for not wanting them to go. However, I’m a bit confused over a couple of things:
– What do you mean by “ I am not one to be Immediate inseparable with someone I know for a day”? It sounds like they’ve been close with your family for years and gone on multiple trips. What is relevant about the “not immediately inseparable” statement? Of course, you’re absolutely allowed to not like them for any reason.
– Where’s your dad in all this? Can you talk to him and share that you want it to be blood-related only for your trip?
The way OP wrote this is extremely confusing. I don’t understand the kidney transplant part
NTA but you need to have a conversation with everyone explaining that it is your trip and your guest list—if you are paying. If you aren’t, who is? Because whoever is paying gets to decide the guest list. Ideally, they agree to let you choose. If not, you get to decide between going on the trip or not.
Agreed. This person sounds like a very spoiled child.
I don’t think so. I would if the friend and her family weren’t brought on every single family trip — meaning that OP never, ever, gets to experience an intimate trip with their close family. Just one time while OP is still a minor and they are all living together, before OP goes off to college, becomes an adult, and the chance for that trip becomes lost to time, is not too much to ask IMO. This may well be the last chance.
I highly doubt if a high school senior is paying for an overseas trip for their entire family. Or, for that matter, even a college senior.
NAH. You’re not an asshole for wanting it to be immediate family only. Your mom isn’t an asshole for having her friends join you on previous trips. Just talk to your mom now about what you’d like in a senior trip.
You’re entitled to not want them to come and you should tell your mum that, but if you’re not paying for a trip then you can’t dictate who comes. I’m sure if you speak to your mum, she’ll keep the invite list just to family. NAH as you haven’t told your mum what you want.
NTA. I recommend being honest with her and how much it would mean to you. Let her know that you’re looking to spending time w her, but if her friend + family come along, it dilutes your time w her (your mom). And before you go off to university (or whatever) this time would be meaningful to you.
If you aren’t paying for it, then the gift is “a trip with the family friends.” You don’t have to take the gift, but that is the gift.
Do you mean senior year at school, or at university?