Hi. Got a local place I have been eating at for years. Very nice place. I’ve worked in hospitality years back and I know it’s a rough job and so I always try and be polite to the staff whether I’m making an order or receiving food. The staff have always been polite back to me.
There’s a waitress there who I have found has a indifferent bordering on rude attitude to me. I’ll order something and then say Thank You and they won’t respond and just serve the next person. They’ll bring food out and put it on the table and walk off. You say Thank You and they’ll hardly acknowledge you let alone saying anything back. Recently they brought out a coffee and pretty much just dropped it on the table before walking off. On the flipside, other waitstaff bring something out, I say Thank You and the will always reply positively.
It’s annoying as there’s customers who will come in and be rude or act like they have main character syndrome. But you try and make an effort to be cool to people, and they act like indifferent snobs.
So, am I the asshole?
What’s the conflict here?
How would anyone be able to answer anything negative about you in this situation?
If there’s anything you’re doing that justifiably pisses her off you didn’t state it and if you can’t read her mind to find out we sure can’t either
Don’t go there and if you must specifically state you refuse to be seated in her section.
Where’s the conflict?
Maybe for kicks, ask her if she has any recommendations instead of what you usually order.
The only thing that puts you at risk of being an AH here is using the term waitperson.
Is this another post about tipping culture?
NTA
NTA I would say that you don’t need to change your behavior in the sense that being rude back to her would do neither of you any good. You can stay polite to her, but that doesn’t mean you have to take being treated rudely. Just as you want to acknowledge her humanity she should acknowledge yours. You would also be NTA if you had a word with her about a specific example of rudeness or attitude, or even said something to the manager.
Doesn’t sound like she was rude. In fact, doesn’t sound like there is a conflict at all?
I’m sorry, you’re asking if you’re an asshole….for being nice?
No, obviously NTA, but you’ve clearly encountered someone with a different value system than yours. Maybe this is a cultural difference, maybe generational—hell, maybe she just flat out hates her job. Whatever the case, while I agree that people should be kind and polite to each other you’re just not always going to have it reciprocated. Write it off as a her problem and go on with your day.