AITA… for backstory purposes, i’ve been with my partner 3 years & lived together for 2. my bf has always been close with his mother which i respect that she’s very sweet and is very personable. ive tried to be close with her but she makes me uncomfy the way she is with him. in the beginning of our relationship she almost tried to show her dominance by sitting right next to us when we were hanging out(we were 18). fast forward we live together and he works for her and he caters to her every need. i told him to look into enmeshment and that his mom is being selfish and holding him back from gaining adult experience. ALSOOO i told him he needs therapy because of his anger issues, he gets frustrated easily with himself everytime he fails (i told it nicer) and then he shows me the text his mom sent of someone she found for a potential therapist….. he still hasnt gone help. i love him dearly and i am always very open about how i feel and i always invite him to converse about how he feels but his mind goes blank. this is the only struggle we have
You are not the asshole he is currently struggling with growing up but also clinging onto the things that make him comfortable as a child. I have a very close relationship with my mother but would never make it get in the way of my relationships and the mum shouldn’t be making you feel uncomfortable I just think you need to have a good think about things and maybe offer him some advice of jobs but amp him up about it
Nta.
Ask yourself this. Is this something you’re willing to deal with long term? His mom is already causing issues between you and your bf. And mom definitely won’t be the one to let it go
Confusing. Need clarity.
Show dominance by sitting next to you?
He works for her. She’s his boss.
Showed him text of someone she found??
sorry i typed it fast.
1.she would lay in his bed with us and be like “scoot over i can’t fit on the bed with yall” this was when he lived at home early during our relationship.
2. she owns a business he’s an employee
3. she texted my bf a link to a therapist, meaning she found one for him instead of him doing it. he still hasn’t gone to therapy
Here’s some resources
Is your relationship healthy?
https://www.loveisrespect.org/quiz/is-your-relationship-healthy/
Why does he do that?
https://freebooksmania.com/2021/01/why-does-he-do-that-pdf-free-download-by-lundy-bancroft.html
He doesn’t care AKA weaponized incompetence
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/s/NsoxMseUn3
My partner doesn’t help around the house
https://zawn.substack.com/p/why-household-labor-inequity-is-abuse?utm_source=direct
NTA
My mother interfered in any relationship I had, she had someone picked out for me. She has been dead a long time but she f’d me up with the way I dealt with relationships.
He needs to cut the apron strings.
Let his mommy have him. NTA