It was my 45th birthday this past weekend.
Maybe this context is important, but we’re in the UK, I am British and my friend is Russian (let’s call him Steve).
Steve is a friend who i met a couple of years ago through sports and we both also have a strong interest in music, and he has borrowed some musical gear off me from time to time without any issues and I have gone along with him to help him purchase instruments and we’ve been to loads of gigs together.
The previous weekend, Steve had come over to my house to watch football and at one point asked to see my stereo setup upstairs (it’s a small system connected to my computer and it serves it’s need perfectly) he started asking me about how I play CDs, to which I said I don’t anymore as I don’t have a player, but I do have a huge CD wallet with about 1000+ CDs in it that I held onto. I then said I was thinking of buying a small CD player and integrate it into my existing system.
So an hour or so later Steve asks to speak to my wife in private. My wife later relays to me that my friend is thinking of buying me a stereo system for my birthday, but obviously wanted to surprise me…so I tell my wife to relay to the friend (without breaking Steve’s confidentiality) to get me a compact CD player and that is it. She sends Steve a whatsapp message (that I dictated and that we get the read receipt ticks) that says "Yeah, a small CD player would be great, but he doesn’t need speakers or an amp…he has those"
Steve turns up at my birthday meal a last Saturday and as everyone is leaving to go to the next bar, he says "I have a gift for you, but it’s too big to bring inside, so I can drive you to your house (2mins away) and then I will drop you back here"
I go with him in his car to my house, and Steve has bought me a frankly ridiculous Marantz Network CD Receiver and 2 fairly chunky speakers to go with it! I dare not google how much he spent but I’d estimate in the region of £300+
I touched and heart warmed that he did it, but due to the size of it, it doesn’t really physically fit into my existing system (or even the room I have it in) and would require us to reconfigure our entire living room if we were to put it in there.
Am I the asshole if I tell Steve I cannot accept this gift due to it’s size and practicality? I’d love to have space for it and make it work, but it’s unfeasible!
TL;DR would a Russian take a gift back without being offended?
Do NOT reject the gift. That is awful.
As with any other gift, you accept it with grace and enthusiasm, and then you try to make it work in your life. Can you create another sound area upstairs or downstairs? Can you use/swap out part of your setup and donate the rest (example: incorporate the CD player but regift the speakers)?
I understand that the gift was not quite what you wanted, but it was obviously chosen with love. You should keep that in mind and be flexible.
Good luck. (And happy birthday!)
I think that you can not be expected to use a gift you have no use for. If I have an oven in my small kitchen and someone gifts me a 3x bigger oven that will never fit in my kitchen unless I remodel and give up lots of storage room that I need and now need to find elsewhere, I would be grateful but honest that it does not fit my life right now. This is the same situation. Gifts need to fit the life of the gifted. I would reject a million-dollar yacht atm bc I dont have any way to store or use it nor the money for upkeeping. A true friend would understand.
I think there are two separate questions. No, YWNBTA if you politely declined the gift. It’s just impractical.
Whether or not he’ll take it well I can’t say.
Instead of rejecting the gift outright, you could ask Steve to return the gift then use the money to enjoy an activity or function together or with a group your mutual friends. And when you apologize, keep it short and sincere, don’t go on and on.