I did edit it because I realised some of the things I said sounded weird or didn’t make sense.
I want to start this off by stating that it was 100% a complete accident, I apologised numerous times, and have never said it before (besides once when I was like 6, but didn’t know what the word meant and once I learned, I never said it again and felt horrible).
One of my roommates is a POC, and say the N word all the time. I have the like type of ADHD/autism where the things people around me say, I usually adopt into my vocabulary, but I am always careful about slurs. I did tell them that I have this issue, and that I apologise in advance if it ever happens. I am also the type of person where I will repeat what someone says if it is funny to me and laugh while doing so.
So, we were playing a game where you have to name your characters and there is some dialogue, and they named their character nwordtron. If it came up, they would say it, and me and my bf wouldn’t (obv). At some point during the game, I was doing something on my phone quick, and was not paying attention to the game much. My roommate had said some line with their character name in it, and without thinking (because I was doing like 3 different things) I repeated what they said, and immediately stopped after saying the N word. Normally, when I am fully paying attention, I would have said megatron or N-Word-tron instead of ACTUALLY saying the n-word. My heart dropped, I looked at them and started apologizing profusely. I said that I wasn’t paying attention and if I was, I would have never ever said it. Once we finished the game, we were all tired and went to bed. For the past couple of days, they have been kind of ignoring me and responding quickly and shortly if I am trying to talk to them, but is still the same chatty person with my bf. I could understand if I did it on purpose why they are acting like this, but it was a genuine freak accident. I still feel horrible about it 😞
YTA. Don’t make excuses – whether paying attention, have adhd/autism, or not, you can’t use that word. Those are excuses and you know it. Stop making it about yourself and apologize like an adult.
OP already apologized profusely as soon as they realized what happened. Nothing childish about that
They apologized and literally repeated a word that had been said multiple times through the night. It wasn’t used in a derogatory manor or directed at anyone. If their friend is so offended by the use of the word then why are they going to around using it casually in a board game??
Why don’t you try flipping it and aski why the “friend” chose that name? Because it looks like deliberate baiting to me.
Play stupid games and win stupid prizes.
YTA
>I have the like type of ADHD or autism
If you have to phrase it as “I have the like kind of (one diagnosis) or (other diagnosis),” then it sounds like you haven’t actually been diagnosed with either. If you had, you would know which it was.
So extra AH points for trying to blame it on some neurodivergent label that you think makes it okay.
>I said that I wasn’t paying attention and if I was, I would have never ever said it.
This is your sign to pay attention to the things coning out of your mouth, because no one but *you* is responsible for what you say.
INFO: to clarify, the only context you said it in was repeating the name they gave *their own character*?
NTA. I think I understand your side completely; it was a complete accident and you immediately apologized and meant it. And frankly, your roommate is immature to put that as their name, black or not. That’s just my personal opinion 🤷
NTA. You had a slip of tongue, a complete accident, and immediately apologized. I’m a bit surprised everyone thinks YTA. The roommates are entitled to feel uncomfortable for a bit/work through it, but there were no ill intentions here. We are humans, we make mistakes. Don’t be hard on yourself. Maybe buy them coffee one morning or something they’ll enjoy. Like all things in life, this is simply an experience that taught you something – use it.
So let’s get this straight – your friend named their character n-word-tron, and the context was that you were referring to their character, and that’s why you said it?
Guys, how is this anything other than NTA? Might as well ram your face into someone’s hat and complain that they hit you
NTA. Everyone has a slip of the tongue every now and then. They specifically chose that as their gamertag. They should expect people to use that in reference to that.
Just gonna let you know that people who don’t think you’re the asshole are going to be less likely to tell you such and the people who do think you’re an asshole are going to feel so adamantly justified in letting you know that you’re an asshole that they’ll probably ask their friends to do it too. People make mistakes, you’re obviously not a bad person from what i’m reading. Nuance exists and people are judgmental as fuck. You know you shouldn’t say the word and you fucked up, shit happens. NAH.
Also I would go out on a limb that the majority of the people adamantly telling you you’re an asshole here are white.
Nta
You weren’t intentionally doing it. I don’t think you’re racist for it tho.
I agree it’s not something anyone else but poc can say. But it’s not like you called them that or said it with malice. They named their character that then got mad when you said their characters name on accident while talking about it together. It was a mistake not a racial outburst.
Accidents happen.
NTA
I have this type of autism and I understand how difficult it is to not be a parrot for every phrase you hear. I have to fight myself to not do certain actions or say phrases over and over around people.
For example, my sister really hates when I pop my tongue or smack my lips and I do it subconsciously most of the time but when we hang out and I do it she gets on to me and I feel bad. (Especially rn bc she’s very emotional bc she is pregnant and it tends to overload her sensory wise)
While I do understand why people are upset about you saying it, it genuinely sounds like you feel horrible about it and it wouldn’t have happened if your brain was pre-occupied with several tasks at once. I know when I get to that point of overstimulation I kinda just zone out.
I think it’s immature of the roommate to first off not actually forgive you after immediately apologizing multiple times and to also act snippy around you after words. There’s not a single reason she shouldn’t try and talk it out with you especially if y’all have to live together for any extended amount of time.
Overall NTA