Me (16 F) and my mom (49 F) went out for food and to buy dog food. There is this big long festival at my city. We ate. I said hey can we go buy the dog food? She said no. I asked multiple times, she still said no and said she wanted to go around the city for the festival l that is here EVERY YEAR and I’ve been living in this city since I was born. She made me carry the bag. It wasn’t that big of a deal. So yeah okay her back hurts because she’s getting old I carried the bag.
I wanted to go home. I didn’t really have a choice though!! She dragged me along with her for the festival.And then we had to sit down for this show. I was bitchy. After like 30 minutes she finally got up and we could leave. She gave me the bag again and I told her to carry it in a rude tone. She gave me money and told me to go home, shouting at me. Buddy. I tried to tell her to at least acknowledge that I didn’t want to be there. That I offered to be the one to go and buy the dog food while she could stay and watch the show. And then she shouted at me more and told me to go home. So now I’m at the station and waiting for a ride home.
I’m 16 and I can’t say if I want to be somewhere or not. This isn’t the first time I was dragged somewhere. I once thought we were going home and was like, huh, the drive home is long. But then it turns out oh wow!! We’re going to the beach and NO ONE told me. They kidnapped me there. Oh haha they already had my clothes packed. Oh and? "We’re just going to go somewhere take pictures and then go home" I replied multiple times I had so much homework to do and they said yeah yeah. The drive was 6 hours long and we ended up staying 2 nights at the place we went to. Do I never get a say???? If I don’t want to go somewhere it literally doesn’t matter and it makes me feel like I don’t have a say in where I want to go or not.
Yes, I am fatherless.
Edit: minor grammar mistake
You sound like the stereotypical whiney teenager.
YTA
Be nicer to your mom.
It might be my culture, but it sounds like YTA. As a kid, my mum would constantly drag me to places I didn’t want to go. Sounds like she just wanted to spend time with you.
Yes, you’re being bratty. You “get a say“ when you’re an adult and are responsible for yourself. As much as you hate being dragged along, it isn’t fun having to drag a sulky teenager whenever you want to do something.
YTA.
You should copy and paste this in a document and save it to the cloud, then read it in ten years. You’ll probably feel a bit embarrassed at your younger self.
Of course you get dragged places by your parents. You’re still a kid. In a couple of years you won’t be, and you can do whatever the hell you want. Enjoy the time you get to spend with your mother in your last two years of your childhood. She won’t be around forever.
Guess I’m going against the grain here because NTA.
Were you being a brat? Yes, but at 16 I don’t think it’s so unreasonable to be able to have some agency in your life. The fact your mum is doing nice things for you is irrelevant if they aren’t things you want to do or enjoy.
Can you talk to your mum at all? Explain to her that while you appreciate her you really don’t enjoy these things and you want to start having your own freedom to decide. You’re a person, not a handbag. Note: ONLY do this if your mum is a safe person for you to talk to. Don’t make your life harder on the back of some random Redditor’s comment.
Also lol at people telling this child to get a job and move out. Reddit once again proving how much it despises teenagers.
YTA – you could easily enjoy these experiences. You choose not to. Your mum wants to spend time with you because she loves you. One day you’ll read this and see that. Why not agree with her for one night a week mum-daughter time?
Yeah, if OP is being “kidnapped” for family vacations, sounds like her mom is desperate to actually spend time with her.
Call child services – op was made watch a show for 30 minutes and carry a bag!
YTA
ESH – your Mom should have managed expectations about going to the festival – if I was your mom I would have given you the option of coming or not. You’re 16, not 6.
You both need to communicate better and make expectations clear before going out.
NTA. At 16 you should be allowed some say in what you’re doing and where you’re going, people who act like their teenage children should be happy accessories and content to not be treated like people are wild. Yes, I was also given that treatment as a child and teenager and it didn’t leave me with a great relationship with my parents who now wonder why we aren’t close. Yes, it’s nice to enjoy time with your mother, but parents should also treat their kids like people and value their input. Sorry if that’s a hot take.
YTA
I guarantee there’s places your mom didn’t want to go that she went for your sake. And I bet she stayed longer than 30 minutes too.
Graciousness is a rare trait to find in a 16 year old but I don’t think you’ll ever regret starting to cultivate it young. She isn’t the last person who will ask you to put up with 30 minutes of incredibly mild discomfort.
YTA, but damn, the amount of people who are downvoting your comments is insane. You’re a teenager, it’s universal to feel like this at such an age. I’ve read some of your other comments and as advice from an internet stranger; give your mom a break. You said your dad isnt in the picture, which i assume means your mom is your sole caretaker. Having a child is a lifelong commitment, and I don’t know your life story but I assume she at least tries to give you a life as good as she can. She drags you along because she wants to spend time with you and wishes for you to come along. I’m almost 100% sure she herself has sat and watched things you wanted to despite her not being interested in them. I understand being frustrated at not being able to just leave if something doesn’t interest you, but that’s just life. Sometimes we suck it up and wait patiently so someone else can be happy.
Next time when such a situation comes along maybe try to see it from your mom’s perspective. She has you who she has to take care of, which means she has limited time for herself. She just wanted to see the show since you two were already in town, but that bugged you so you made it a point that she can’t enjoy it either because she had to listen to you whine. I’m not saying this to be rude, but to give you some perspective on the situation. Your hormones are all over the place and you can’t fully regulate your emotions yet, but you CAN put effort into not making them everyone else’s problem.
Good luck OP, and I hope you and your mom can work on your relationship. Sometimes it’s better to just back down and cool off instead of escalating. I say this as someone who definitely has a hard time not talking back and making simple things into an argument. I used to argue with my mom a lot, but I’ve come to realize that for the past 21 years, she’s been raising me and my sister pretty much by herself. My dad is in the picture, but his job never allowed him to be home much (I’m talking months at a time abroad, he came home for a week and then went back). I’ve matured a great deal in the past couple of years and now realize that at times I’m just being petty for the sake of being petty.
Anyway, gonna stop my rambling for now. I’m sure your mom tries, but you both have to put effort into making things work.