I don’t intend for the title to downplay this interaction because I realize it’s possible I’m in the wrong, so I will try and recount the story and copy-paste messages verbatim from my chat with this person.
For my birthday, in which I turned 28 recently, a friend of mine got me my ears pierced a week prior, and was going to bring me a cake and hang out on the day of, but they got sick and couldn’t make it. Incidentally, this meant they also couldn’t get me a cake. I’d told my mom "Yea don’t get me a cake \[like you keep offering\], my friend is going to get me one."
My birthday is still special to me so it means a lot when my friends can hang out, and they’re not obligated to get me things, but when *you say you will* that’s another ballpark.
So, friend gets sick, I honestly didn’t remember for a while about it. Until recently:
OP: "I’m politely reminding you you never got me a cake :>"
F: "Hm :> that was supposed to be on your birthday. Your birthday has passed. This is not polite."
OP: "oh i genuinely didn’t realize would be impolite. idk id thought you wanted to get me one and just forgot to. although you should know i told my mom not go get me a birthday because you said you would"
F: "Lol ok"
I got upset at how dismissive they seemed about it, and it started an argument that continued as follows;
F: "Maybe I’m being too jaded about this but I think it’s childish to get this upset about not getting cake on your birthday. You’re almost 30."
OP: "It has nothing to do with not getting me a cake it has to do with telling me I’m somehow impolite for having done so, and not even apologizing for not following through. It was never impolite"
I’d spoken to my therapist right after all this, because I’d actually just woken up to get ready for our session. She told me the question itself was not rude, and my other friends also agreed this was not rude. One even offered to get me a small cake to make up for how my other friend handled it
So here’s where the judgment is. I don’t want to seem entitled, but I may very well be through my actions, but I never intended to guilt this person into getting me a cake. I felt upset that they didn’t follow through on their word and expected me to drop it and forget it