Today, my boyfriend (32M) and I (32F) went out running errands with our kids. We were using my car, and he was driving. We were mainly going to pick up orders for him at specialized stores.
He has chronic migraines and isn’t sure what triggers them, but glare from the sun reflecting off wet pavement can be one trigger. While he was driving, I offered him my sunglasses so he wouldn’t get a migraine.
When we got home and came inside, I noticed my sunglasses sticking out of his jacket pocket. I pointed it out and asked him to put them back in the car. He replied that he would just put them on the entryway table and that I could put them back in the car myself next time I went out. He said he had just driven for two hours and wasn’t going to go back outside just for that. I told him I wanted him to do it right away because it adds to my mental load, similar to when he leaves with my car keys, or when he takes my mittens and I end up without any. I also explained that when I leave the house, I usually already have my hands full with the baby, the diaper bag, etc. He replied that those situations only happened once, that the sunglasses weren’t a load, that I could just put them on my face, and that I was just trying to make a point at that moment.
I ended up putting the sunglasses back in my car later, when I took the compost out after dinner, because I didn’t want to forget and not have them the next time I drove. While I was at it, I also put the grocery bags he had used that morning back in the trunk, threw a can away, that he had left in my car, and brought in our son’s snow pants that had been sitting in the car since he picked him up from daycare the day before…
So, AITAH for asking him to put my sunglasses back in the car?
From that last paragraph I think this goes beyond the sun glasses.
Exactly. If sun glasses were the only issue, OP is TA expecting him to go back in the sun while still suffering from migraines. I know how bad migraines get.
I feel like that last para was added just to convince us that the BF is an AH, but if it’s true, they need more than AITA judgement.
She didn’t say he had a migraine in this moment. She said she offered him the sunglasses to try to prevent a migraine because one common issue has been sun glare.