I work crazy shifts as a nurse so I meal prep every Sunday for the whole week because I barely have time. It’s not fancy stuffs just chicken, rice, veggies, portioned out in containers in the fridge.
roommate has been dating this guy (let’s call him Mike) for about 3 months. He started coming over a lot. At first it was fine. Then he started staying 3 to 5 nights a week. Still okay.
But two weeks ago I came home exhausted after shift and opened the fridge to find all my containers empty. Mike had eaten my whole week’s food while my roommate was at work. He didn’t even ask. Just saw it got hungry and finished it.
I was furious and texted my roommate to report this to her. She said sorry and that Mike felt bad. I told her it’s not about feeling bad it’s about not touching other people’s food without asking.
Last weekend it happened again. Different containers but this time it was scoops from each. I lost it and told them Mike can’t stay here anymore and it doesn’t matter if he’ll do it again or not. It’s just how I feel at the moment. It’s got me so angry that I don’t want to go to work knowing he’s in the house anymore.
My roommate didn’t take that seriously. Mike was still around and that made me feel so powerless like i dont have any authority here. Out of that anger and frustration i called my roommate’s mother to report this and asked her to tell my roommate to send Mike out. it was after that my roommate called me to talk about it. she said she thought we could just talk about it and reminded me the one time she went out with mike and got me dinner. she said i am making her chose between me and mike and now she’s giving me the silent treatment.
She’s told everyone that I lost it over food. We could go separate ways if she chooses Mike over me but does this make me a good person? Have I overreacted?
NTA. He should not be there when his gf isn’t, ever! If he doesn’t leave when asked, call the police, they will remove him! Time to get out your lease and enforce the rules about guests!
My understanding of American rental law is that if the other person on the lease says it’s ok for them to be there, the police won’t touch it. They’ll say it’s a civil issue.
If the person they are visiting is not present, tbe cops will remove the guest. There are also strict rules in the lease about having guests and the amount of time they can stay. Op may need to file a complaint with the landlord as well
NTA. Mike needs to pay you for the food he has stolen. That would be a step in the direction of an apology. Next, report him/roommate to the landlord if he continues to stay over. And find a new place to live so you don’t need to renew this lease/arrangement.
Mike needs to cook new food for her to eat, not just pay for ingredients.
Correct because he not only stole her food he stole the time she put in to make the food and OP doesn’t have much time to spare.
And he stole the time and money she spent to replace it all.
Mike needs to pay for her to order lunch from the canteen for two weeks. I wouldn’t want to eat his cooking. Sounds like a deadbeet.
NTA. You aren’t making her choose between you and Mike. He has his own place and she can still have a relationship with him.
He broke a serious boundary and not just once but twice. You should be allowed to feel comfortable and your property safe in your residence. She can also have people over as she wishes as she is also a resident there. So that is a tough spot.
If this gets worse you can contact the landlord and make them aware that another person is staying there for more than half of the week. They may have rules against that in your lease as your apartment might only be for two people. Also possible they may make her pay more as there is now a third person staying in the apartment. Hopefully that’s a road you don’t have to go down, but it something you might have in your back pocket if needed and the relationship totally sours.
Good luck.
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NTA-he needs to reimburse you for the cost of the food while also providing you full meals for a week because he ate them. You have every right to demand your personal space be free of him for the future.
Start billing her for the food or tell her you’ll be filing a police report next time it happens. If you want to get anyone involved get the landlord involved.
First off why is he hanging around the place when your roomie is at work? That in itself is totally bizarre.
He is a total stranger to you. He should never be there ever unless she is with him.
Three month relationship? He is a stranger to her as well.
No, you shouldn’t have involved her mother.
See what you can do about the lease. Friendship is ruined. In my opinion she has broken the lease. She doesn’t grasp normal boundaries. You guys need to split ways.
For now, I guess get a tiny fridge. Lock it up in your bedroom until you can figure things out.
Again, this is unrepairable .
Even though you shouldn’t have involved her Mother, I still don’t think you are the asshole.
I feel like you’re just very young and you haven’t had a lot of life experiences. You don’t know what to do so you’re just reaching out to her mother because you are an exhausted young nurse who was at her wits end!
Edit: I meant to say you are a very young tired nurse who hasn’t had a lot of life experiences. I’m assuming.