During a recent trip to Hawaii I took my partner on, we invited another couple (friends) as we had a 2 bedroom condo. The room was paid for, the other couple only had to pay for their air fare to get there. I rented a car for the week and picked them up at the airport. We then went to Costco to stock up on groceries for the week. We each picked out a meal for 4 nights along with snacks for the days and decided we would go out to eat the remaining nights. I asked the couple to reimburse half the Costco bill as we would all be eating/drinking during the week. They said ok, but I sensed hesitation. I didn’t mention it again, but after the trip, the husband texted me and voiced that they were offended that I requested to split the bill. Throughout the rest of the trip, we split checks every time we went out. I paid for the rental and fuel the entire time. Was it implied somewhere that I should cover their food as well. While it’s not the end of the world for me, the fact that they were reluctant and offended floored me. They did send the money after the trip, but have been very cold since. It seems out of character and surprising. AITA here??
Free room and rental car, but decided to balk at food. Interesting.
Right? If I were that guest I would have picked up the entire CostCo bill.
NTA They don’t have to pay for the room or the car. Pretty entitled to think you’ll feed them too.
NTA. Now you know not to vacation with this couple again in the future. People can be very weird about money—it’s wild to me how many people think others should financially support them just out of generosity. If I offer, you can take me up on it (but even then, social norms say you’re supposed to at least try to insist on paying your share.) To be offended is just… wow.
Dont invite the ungrateful mooches ever again
NTA. Unfortunately the people you went away with are leeches. You need better friends.
They should have paid for all to he groceries. No more vacations with them. Don’t dine out with them anywhere. In fact, call them EX friends.
NTA and I’m available next time. I’ll pay for all the groceries.
NTA food in Hawaii is 3 times the cost (if not more) than the mainland. They got a free room?!(also pretty costly) Im sure the food bill would of been a nice reimbursement for your kindness. Never invite them to anything again.
NTA – etiquette would say that the friends, who have jsut been afforded the opportunity to stay in Hawaii for free for a week, would be more than happy to pitch in, heck, even COVER the Costco bill as a thank you for the stay.
However, if they want to be sticky about it, it may come down to how the invitation was worded ‘come be our guests, you pay for nothing but airfare’ etc in which case they might feel like ‘ok, anytime we’ve stayed as guests in someone else’s home, we’ve never been asked to pay for groceries’. But this is differnet, it’s a VACATION you’re all on together, any food purchased is only for the 4 of you, so yeah, they should pay half.
NTA, splitting the cost of the food to stock the vacation condo that these “friends” were staying in for free is not an out of the ordinary request.
If this is the reason that these “friends” are being cold, it’s time to find new people to vacation with.
Why would they assume it’s all inclusive? That’s crazy. NTA
NTA – If someone paid for my room and rental car in Hawaii, I most certainly would have paid for half the grocery bill. Heck, even if I’d chipped in for the aforementioned, I still would have paid half for groceries. Your friends are terribly ungrateful.
NTA. Even if you didn’t discuss food, it’s not reasonable for adults not to recognize that they will need to eat on vacation, and that feeding adults on vacation is not how friend-couple trips usually work. They should have bought ALL of the groceries if they’re getting free lodging and transportation in HI, one of our most expensive states.