I (F21) asked my mom if I could stay over for a car cruise in Sept. Cruise started at 10 in the morning but I live a couple hours away where they were starting. I would have to wake up at 6:30 in the morning and I’m not a morning person. My mom lives only 30 minutes from the meet location, I’d only have to wake up at 9 if I stayed.
I was also thinking it would be a great opportunity to see her, spend time with her, see what she’s been up to, and see my twin siblings who are turning 9. I told her that as well.
At first, she said: “let me talk to your stepdad about it.”
I waited a couple days because I’m not pushy, I don’t like being pushy. When I called back about it 4 days later because the cruise was only a day away, she went off.
She told me “we are not a hotel”, that it was completely disrespectful to even ask, and that it was a “dick move” and I only care about myself.
I honestly don’t know how to even process that… and I STILL don’t even though it was months ago. I think about it almost every day since. Was I an asshole? I asked so nicely as well.
She hasn’t called since. My calls go straight to voicemail. Messages are ignored.
NTA. Asking family if you can stay with them for a night is an absolutely normal thing to do under almost all circumstances (i.e., unless there’s been some specific conversation about how they never want to see or hear from you again).
NTA
But I feel like we’re missing a lot of context here.
Yeah that seems like a whole lot of overreaction for no reason at all.
NTA – This is absolutely not a normal response. It sounds like theres some issue with the step dad, or, maybe with your mom. Ive never heard of a parent/family member doing that unless they didnt like them
NTA, but this seems like an extreme reaction with a lot of missing context. I feel very much like there may be some missing reasons here
Your Mom sucks.
NTA. Your mom’s response was the dick move. Staying with family when you are in the area used to be a normal thing and I thought it still was.
NTA, your mom is being selfish, and the fact she blocked you over this shows a lot about her character. I’m sure it’s just because step-dad made a big deal about it, but that shouldn’t matter. You are her kid still, and if she was a good mother, you would think she would be thrilled to spend time with her kids.
Keep this attitude in mind for when she is old and needs assistance. Bet she comes crawling back, and you will be ready with the “this is not an assisted living facility, and its rude of you to even ask”. If I were you, I would not reach out to her first ever again.
NTA. Your mom is unhinged. Time to go NC.
Oh OP, I’m sorry. It has nothing to do with you. It was a totally normal request
INFO…do you really have no idea at all why she would react like that?
Beyond weird, my adult kids can always come home, especially for a night.
NTA
NTA- it’s wild to me to think a mother would have this kind of reaction to their child coming and WANTING to visit.
I’m sorry you have a shitty mother and/or stepfather, totally NTA, and that would trigger NC from me to be treated like that.
NTA, my home is open to my adult kids at all times! They could even stay if I wasn’t home! Something is clearly going on with her or your stepdad.