We have not always had the greatest relationship with our neighbor. We do our best to get along because our kids play together. Recently, my son noticed my neighbor filming him and his friend playing outside from her window. Keep in mind, her kid was also inside at that time. I texted and asked if she was filming them, to which she replied "Why?" and acted like I was out of line for even asking that question. It is one thing if she is taking pictures of our kids while they are playing with hers, but it just seemed strange that she was filming without our knowledge and she refuses to send us the video she took. AITA?
**Edit**: I shouldn’t have said "she refuses to send us the video she took". It was more of an emotional reaction rather than a relevant fact. She never answered the question so she never admitted to taking a video in the first place. I commented to her that she never sends pics/videos she has taken of our kids playing over the years but I never demanded this video so she never actually refused. I apologize for misleading you and promise that it was not intentional. Maybe ITA for putting that in this post. Sorry!
NTA. How creepy. I’d have asked too.
NTA cause why she doing all that
anyone acting weird about this is sus. your kid comes first
Were they close to windows doing something that could have flung into her window possibly to break it? She might have been trying to get video in case something went wrong and they fled. Or if there is a history.
I don’t envy you. This is how friendships are ruined and friendly neighbors become bitter enemies who know too much about each other.
NTA . Perfectly reasonable to ask, even better to explain why and give her the benefit of the doubt – “Tommy thought it looked like you might have been recording him and Billy, and I wanted to make sure they weren’t doing something that made you feel concerned for their safety or anything.”
Especially if you’re looking to preserve the relationship for the kids’ sakes, clear communication is the best way to avoid misinterpretation or mistaken inferences.
If your kid is outside, there is no privacy.
Yeah, sure. But it’s still weird to film or take pictures of other peoples’ kids without the parent’s permission.
What’s missing from this story? Can’t decide without all the facts. But, bottom line, she’s allowed to film from her window and you have no right to demand the video. Call the cops if you want, they’ll tell you that themselves.
NTA for asking a perfectly reasonable question. They don’t have to tell you why there filming out the window of their house. They’re probably just embarrassed to tell you the were FaceTiming Grandma and wanted to show her what little Timmy’s friends looked like. I wouldn’t personally worry about it or push the matter. Unless you think the neighbour is selling kids on the black market.
NTA. It’s okay to ask. I doubt calling police would work though if you ever decide doing that.
Hoo, boy…you left out a VERY important piece of information, which you mentioned in a later comment:
>She said “I’ve taken hundreds of pics/videos of your kids over the years, why would it be an issue now”.
…to which the correct response would be, “it would have been an issue THEN, had I known about it.”
As you say, it’s fine to take pictures of your kids playing together for private use, but taking pictures/videos of your kids *when her kid isn’t present* is Grade-A creepy.
NTA – and you need to ask them if they’ve shared those pictures of your kids with others, posted them on social media, etc.