I (42M) am married to my wife (35F). I like to travel- that’s pretty much my only hobby. My wife enjoys travel too. My wife has been at her sisters out of state for the past 3.5 weeks given her sister had a baby and she wanted to be with her. During this time I have been by myself, taking care of our 12 year old son and managing full time-work, house and all our son’s activities. I found myself with a 4 day weekend coming up for MLK weekend and I asked her if I can take a solo trip to a foreign country. She agreed if I agreed to let her extend her visit at her sisters by a week- so she can spend more time with the new born. She will be back before that MLK weekend starts. She can not travel international right now as we are waiting on her green card. Our son has a camp date with his friends that weekend that he will be gone for, leaving my wife by herself at home. I booked my flights and hotels. Now my wife is taking me on a guilt trip that I am going by myself and leaving her home by herself. I can cancel the tickets- they’re refundable but I was looking forward to a little solo respite. Am I the asshole to take this solo trip by my self?
So… If you’re going away and your kid is going away.. Why can’t she just extend her stay?
NTA. She’s taken, what, 30+/- days to do something while you hold down the fort. You’re taking, 4 days as respite. During that 4 days your wife likely won’t need to work because it’s a holiday weekend and your son will be with his friends for a period of time, minimizing her caretaking.
She may see her trip to her sisters as a “working trip” because caring for a new family isn’t necessarily a vacation, but you deserve a break too.
I don’t think the wife works at all, considering she was away for a month and doesn’t have a green card
Hahahaha, NTA. I get that she’s helping her sister right now, but that’s still putting 100% of the parenting burden on you. The least she can do is return the favor and give you 4 days off.
NTA – you cleared it with her and now she’s having a pity party? I think I missed a step…
NTA. She’s been gone for nearly a month? Come on. Tell her to enjoy some alone time at a spa or something. You’ll be doing the same. On your trip. Which you’ve already planned. Go have a good time.
Go and enjoy yourself!
NTA
NTA for wanting a solo trip.
But there is no way in hell that I would leave someone I cared about and who doesn’t have a green card alone in the house anywhere in the US right now.
NtA. Remind her that she left you alone for a month, she can last 4 days.
NTA, go on your trip guilt free!
NTA you’ve held down the fort for a month, for her to be with her sister. She can be alone for a few days. It’s quite selfish of her to be trying to convince you otherwise.
NTA. She had already told you it was fine if she got to extend her trip- which she did. Now she is changing the goal post. You deserve a break after holding down the fort by yourself. You’d think she would want some alone time… I’d be so excited 🤣
So your wife is okay with leaving you and her son for over a month? NTA.
I’m sure you are a wonderful father and have met all your son’s needs for the last month, but it sounds like your wife has dipped out of parenting. That’s a very long time for a 12 year old.
NTA. She can be by herself, it’s not fatal.