Context- she is 7 years sober. She was told if she drinks again she will lose her life when hospitalised years ago.
I went to my mom’s house on Saturday and saw a bottle cap on top of an ornament and thought it was a bit odd as when I looked further it was a Guinness extra stout.
At the time, I wasn’t really sure how to approach it, I spoke to my partner who said it was best to just get it out in the open which is also how I felt, I don’t like having to keep things to myself especially knowing it could lead to something fatal without intervention.
I rang her when I got home as when we were there, my 3 year old, my partners 7 year old and my 13 year old sister were also present so it didn’t feel like a good environment to ask in. I asked if she was busy and if she was on her own and she said she wasn’t and she is on her own, so I said I’d seen the bottle cap on the ornament, noticed it was a Guinness cap and wondered why it was there and she spent a while looking for it then said it had always been there as it was attached to the ornament (it was homemade from a seaside town shop.) so I said ah okay that makes sense, I just wouldn’t have forgiven myself if it was anything else and I hadn’t spoke to you about it.
She got very upset/angry and starting saying I had no right to accuse her of drinking as she’s been sober for 7 years and every day is a struggle, I got a bit annoyed myself at being made out to be a villain so I told her she needs to grow up and to speak to me when she has.
I left it for about 10 minutes but didn’t want to fall out with her so I decided to ring her back and try to make amends, but she said she had no interest in talking to me if that’s what I think of her, my nan then rang and started to say I had to right to ask her and I’d really upset the both of them and she couldn’t see why I’d had to ask which ended in another argument as I stood firm on the fact I asked with the best intentions and care but they seem to think I asked, well I don’t know why they think I asked.
But four days later, my mom hasn’t tried to speak to me or get in touch and my nan said she’ll never see my point of view in this, so am I the asshole?