My husband and I have been married for three years, his daughters are 16 and 17. I’ve always tried to get along with the girls, they’re polite and their mother is really kind.
My husband’s house has two floors; The girls have their rooms on the first floor and my husband slept on the second floor, when I moved in we still lived that way as it was honestly not a nuisance to me.
The problem is that I am pregnant now, it is a risky pregnancy and I have to be at rest all the time so climbing the stairs scares me and the doctor said that it would be good if I tried not to climb them for now. My plan was to offer one of the girls to sleep on the second floor and me and my husband would sleep in one of their bedrooms for now, They come four days a week lately so I didn’t think it would be too much of a hassle for them, we also offered to change the beds. They both got angry and said that we can’t kick them out of their bedroom since that is their part of the house; My husband always told them that that part of the house is totally theirs, I have no problem with it since they are his daughters. Basically the only thing we share is dining room and kitchen since they have a bathroom. My husband basically told me he can’t force them so do that so I’m on my own in this.
They don’t want to go upstairs because according to them it’s too small and it will be a hassle to have to climb the stairs all the time to get their things.
My husband always told them that that part of the house is 100% theirs so it’s literally like a separate part of the house, I never even went into their bathroom.
The only problem is that I just need them to do that favor for me until the doctor tells me that my pregnancy is out of risk, We even plan to make the room for the baby upstairs so as not to bother them. The girls reacted so badly that it made me think I’m behaving like an evil stepmother.
Edit: I appreciate the advice but please don’t tell me to leave the house for a hotel; I’m going to have a baby, I don’t have the money to pay for lodging. Please note that in my country one dollar is equal to $1400 in the national coin.
The doctor’s words were "absolute rest" no cleaning, no exercise, no sudden movements and he recommended that I avoid stairs.
Yes, I had the idea to sleep in the living room but my bathroom is upstairs and they don’t want to share their bathroom (Yes, visitors must go to the upstairs bathroom) + my older stepdaughter said it would be tacky to do that since she brings friends home. Also my husband doesn’t have a spine and I’m trying not to get stressed.
>My husband basically told me he can’t force them so do that so I’m on my own in this.
Uh, no?
You’re his wife, carrying his child? If you’re “on your own”, then you’re no longer together.
You can all work together as a family to navigate this, but he doesn’t just get to throw his hands up at the slightest push back and bow out of his family responsibilities.
Nta
Imagine telling your pregnant wife “you’re on your own” lol great hubby you got there OP
The problem here is that your husband isn’t taking your medical needs seriously enough.
If you broke your leg would he insist on one of them swapping rooms then?
He would not.
And I’m all for dad protecting his kids, but if the relationship is this bad, why did he marry OP?
NTA
This is ridiculous.
They are 16 and 17. It is not up to them to “allow” you to do anything. You are one of the adults in the house.
Your husband is allowing his daughters to treat you appallingly and he should be ashamed.
Just wait till these girls have to deal with a newborn and the level of resentment it is probably going to bring
NAH (except for the husband for the way he reacted). you’re not wrong in asking but for them this is a case of “this baby is not even here yet and it’s already taking our space”, and if their dad forces them to move it’ll strain the relationship with his daughters, who will believe he prioritises new wife and baby over existing kids. I understand you’re probably very stressed right now, but I can also see their point and don’t think they’re wrong.
NTA. Move out of the house to a place where it’s safe for you and your baby. Here you and the baby are at risk and nobody cares. Not your stepdaughters who don’t want to be inconvenienced, not your husband and father for your unborn child who won’t protect you or the baby. Move back with family that cares. Your life and the baby’s life are at risk here.
NTA. I wouldn’t even call your stepdaughters assholes for their refusal – they’re teenagers dealing with a baby coming into their home, so I’m willing to cut them some slack here.
No, the asshole is your husband. You are pregnant with his child, your pregnancy is high-risk, and *you’re on your own*? He needs to help you find a solution, and pronto. If he won’t move one of his daughters out of her room, then he needs to turn the dining room into your bedroom or something like that.
This was not something that you needed to ask for. Your husband should have told his daughters that there needs to be some adjustments.
Because what is the long term plan here… his daughters get half of everything and you.. your husband and your kid(s) need to manage with the rest? That’s not fair to your kids.
NtA
16 and 17 year Olds should not be dictating the rules of the house like this.. or is it their house and your husband and you are living with them?
“My husband basically told me he can’t force them so do that so I’m on my own in this.”
What in the name of spoiled princesses is that kind of statement? Your husband is a straight up buffoon,HE’S the dad and can change the rules, at least temporarily. This is all on your husband because those are his daughters and his future baby! Wtf!?
NTA obviously but your husband sure as hell is.