Hi! I (F16) and my friends (All F18) have been planning an end-of-school-year senior trip to New York since last year. We’ve all been super excited, already booked our Airbnb and bought tickets. I am a year younger than all of them because I started high school a year early, and originally, on our trip, we had planned some sightseeing stuff, Broadway plays, visiting the flea markets, art museums, basically like all the kind of toursity new york things.
Recently, with all of them turning 18, they’ve wanted to add things like nightclubs, tattoos, and piercings together on the docket. I’m in no way opposed to this and said it could be fun if we got, like, matching stick-and-pokes or whatever. However, I wouldn’t really be able to visit bars and clubs with them due to being underage. They said they want to go to professional places and stuff and get things done right. I said that’s fine, but to limit this to one night tops, so I’m not just sitting at the Airbnb every single night alone doing nothing.
I honestly would love to go because I do like parties and dancing and stuff, but I’ve also been accepted to a prestigious university, and I don’t want to have anything on my record for the risk of getting it rescinded. I said that if they feel strongly about going clubbing and stuff, I would try to just like sneak in with them, but they all told me that they don’t want to risk getting kicked out of the clubs, so I should just get a fake ID.
This is something that could probably get me into legal trouble and I don’t want to risk it. When I told them that, they kind of made it sound like they planned to go clubbing and stuff much more than we had originally intended, meaning I would basically be spending at least half the nights of the trip doing nothing.
I told them that I hope they have fun, but if they’re going to plan things I can’t really participate in, I won’t come on the trip with them because I’d rather go on a senior trip with other people where we do things that we all enjoy.
My friends are now saying I’m guilt tripping them into changing their plans and it’s unfair if I cancel this close to the trip because it makes it a lot more expensive for everyone else. They also said that I’m over exaggerating a bit because I can still do all the daytime activities we had originally planned (we still have Broadway tickets and stuff like that), so I’m being overdramatic.
TL;DR: AITA if I back out of a senior trip, causing all my friends to have to pay significantly more, because they planned activites I can’t participate in?
Lol your 18 y.o. friends won’t be going to much of anywhere either. Y’all teenyboppers need to grow up first
I was about to say, as a NY, that almost all nightlife is 21+ so unless they all have fake ids not much is going on.
NTA what clubs and bars are they getting into at 18 ???
Yeah, are they aware that the drinking age in the US is 21? There are some all-ages clubs, but not a ton.
Where are you and ur friends from? Because as someone from NY, there arent that many bars that let people in that are underage (under 21). Your friends may be disappointed about not being let in.
NTA tho, ur friends should be more understand of your situation
They aren’t going into many clubs/bars at 18. Most places are 21+
How do they intend on going to nightclubs when they’re under 21? Believe me, they’ll be no more believable as 21+ at 18 as you would at 16.
Also, does no one have parents who are the least bit concerned about this trip?
NTA and the whole endeavor sounds like a train wreck. I’d go another time and really see some Broadway shows and museums.
An 18 year old can’t even rent a hotel.
NTA. You have to be 21 to get into a nightclub and fake IDs don’t work anymore. Your friends won’t be getting into any nightclubs.
This is one of those times where parents are the perfect excuse 😉 By that, I mean simply say to them that your parents are now forbidding you from going to NY with your friends, because they are not comfortable with (fill in the blank … I’d probably say “being alone in AirBNB at night” or “wandering NY at night”).
While you don’t say how many friends are going, your friends won’t have to pay “significantly more” … just their portion of your portion split between them, so if it’s 5 friends total, it’d be split 4 ways without you, or if it’s 4 friends total, it’d be split 3 ways without you.
If they can’t afford that relatively small increase, how are they going to afford clubs, tattoos, piercings, etc. Do they not realize just how expensive clubs, tattoos, piercings, etc. are in NY? I all but guarantee they’re looking at costs nearly double what they’d likely pay outside of NY.
NTA
ETA: My grandmother (born in 1904) always said to me, “If any part of you says no, *all* of you says no.” I can say with certainty that over the decades of my life, the times I *knew* I should have said no but didn’t are the times that always led to trouble, drama, expenses, or even pain. Trust your gut.
Do your friends realize the legal age is 21 in the US? No one is going clubbing lol NTA
I would look into the age requirements for Airbnb. Many restrict guests to 25 and older, or add additional restrictions for guests younger than 25. You might not even be able to stay in the Airbnb because they’re under 25 and you’re under 18.
Don’t do anything illegal. It’s not worth losing your University acceptance. They do card in New York City, and also, since the drinking age is 21 throughout the US, your friends would also need altered IDs to go out to most clubs and bars.
I would plan a different trip, and I would ask for my money back for the Airbnb and all tickets.
NTA
Legal age to enter bars, clubs, and buy drinks in New York is 21. So no one on this trip will be able to do those things. If they plan to try with fake IDs, your entire friend group is full of dumb people who are taking dumb risks.
NTA for not wanting to go, but your story seems sus. I personally would still go and find other things to do that don’t involve those things or babysitting drunk friends. There is plenty to do in NYC that doesn’t involve bars and drinking.
NTA and where tf are they planning on clubbing? They’re 18, not 21.