AITAH: Ok context to start. I’m the kind of person who is different around different people, I just feel more comfortable with some people over others, and because of this I have separate friend groups. The people in the groups know about people in the other as I will mention them in stories or they will see them in my instagram post but for the most part I keep the separate. I just graduated high school and because of this a lot of my school friends meet my work friends. I’m much closer with my work friends. I’m a M 18 and my work friends are 20 and 21 F but we are all really close and I spend the most amount of time with them. Recently my school friend, we’ll call him Brad (M 19) has been getting really close with both of my work friends. I got a text from my work friend, we’ll call her Emily (F20) while I was in NYC for vacation saying she might have feelings for Brad. We talked a little and I asked her to wait until o got back from NYC in a couple days so we could talk in person because I was worried she didn’t know who Brad really was but I won’t lie I was also worried about them getting close. In the past I have had a lot of experience where I introduced two of my friends to each other and they end up getting really close and leaving me behind. Just today I got a text from Brad in our school gc saying he was out in his first date with his new gf. Brad lives in a different city than our school and doesn’t go out much other than with us so I thought it was weird that he had gotten a gf and then I remembered what my friend had said earlier that week. I checked there locations and turns out they were together hanging out. I asked Emily about it and she said it was a joke and they were messing with my friends and asked me to play along. This made me feel really uncomfortable and I started worrying that I might be losing two of my closest friends and so I just stop replying and didn’t saying anything in either chat. Am I the asshole for not responding and feeling this way about my friends. Should I be happy that they like each other and help foster the relationship? Im just really confused rn
YTAH, they have a right to have their relationships with each other, and I’m not gonna lie…you seem kind of possessive in a way that would freak me out if I was one of your friends.
YTA. Hopefully you will grow out of being so selfish. You don’t have to be happy about it. You will for sure lose both of your friends if you try to keep them apart.
YTA. You don’t own the people in your life, nor do they have to live in the mental boxes you’ve assigned them. Brad and Emily are adults who are allowed to be in a relationship. This is all very, very normal; it is not at all strange to have different friend groups and for those groups to cross-pollinate. What is odd is you thinking these people have to fit into the narrow mental spaces you’ve assigned them. If they’re your friends and they’re happy, you should be happy for them.
YTA. you do not get to gatekeep who your friends date. And you do not get to dictate who’s acceptable for whom.
Let people figure things out for themselves. The possessiveness makes you the red flag here
YTA for being jealous that your friends like each other and may not include you in something.
Yta. Most people who introduce friends to each other don’t get left behind. I suspect you get ditched because you seem like a selfish, possessive person who tries to dictate what others can do.
YTA. I can’t believe you bothered asking.
YTA. It is none of your business and it would take less energy to just be happy for them.
YTA and being weirdly jealous. it’s not healthy to put people into little boxes and expecting them to need permission to live their own lives
if people constantly leave you behind it’s because you need to work on yourself. it’s probably the jealousy. everyone is different around different people. if you’re different to the point that you’re worried about people discovering how vast your different personalities are that’s not normal and you need to figure out who you actually are.
but hey you’re 18. there’s a long way to go. but you’ll get there.
YTA. Plain & simple. Your post gives off vibes that you’re either the only or one of very few friends in your group not dating which makes you feel pressured to insert yourself into others’ relationships to preserve your own sense of belonging since you have no one of your own to hang out with.
YTA. Your friends don’t need your permission to date. You’re being possessive and controlling because of your own insecurities. Ghosting them will push them away faster than their relationship ever could. Be happy for them and communicate like an adult instead of sulking.
YTA. Stop being a hater & use paragraphs!
YTA.
>The people in the groups know about people in the other as I will mention them in stories or they will see them in my instagram post but for the most part I keep the separate.
In other words, you’re always bragging about one set of friends to the other to make yourself look good, but you were never planning on them actually being friends with one another. At the end of the day, people have autonomy and you don’t get to call “dibs” on friends and you shouldn’t try to control or manipulate their relationships with one another. If you work on being less possessive, you will find yourself with even more friends.
YTA
Please grow up.
You don’t get to decide who other people can be friends with or who they can date. Is it not wonderful that your friends can all get along together?
Also, please learn how to use paragraphs.