I (21F, autistic) have three sisters: Rue (29F), Becky (30F), and Dora (27F). Yesterday, one of them asked me to babysit her kids for the day, and I agreed.
When I got to her house, I saw her getting dressed up and asked where she was going. She told me that all of our cousins were having an outing in the city.
I have 50+ cousins, ages 40–22. They all have a group chat that I’m not in, and my sisters have never offered to include me, so I assumed it wasn’t a big deal. But clearly it is, because they knew about this event and never mentioned it.
When my dad heard what happened, he actually got angry on my behalf and said, “She’s a cousin too.” But my sisters brushed it off and told me I “wouldn’t have wanted to go anyway” since my cousins are older than me.
I’m autistic, so sometimes I struggle with social situations, and I feel like they use that as an excuse to exclude me. But I still feel like I should’ve at least had the option to go instead of being automatically sidelined as the babysitter.
AITA for being upset?
NTA, from what you’ve said there doesnt seem like theres any reason to exclude you other then the fact that youre autistic, and your dad agrees. Seems like your sisters are just assholes
NTA. You’re right to be upset. Good for your dad for backing you up!
You’re definitely not the asshole! You have every right to be upset. It’s hurtful to be excluded and used as the babysitter, especially by your own family. Everyone deserves to feel included.
Do not babysit their kids anymore.
NTA. I would never allow my children or niblings, no matter their age, act like this.
It is one thing to discuss it with you and not invite you because you decide it’s not what you’re into…it’s another to just exclude you.
Sweetie, I’m so sorry but they are bringing assholes & your dad is right. Set some boundaries & don’t allow them to treat you this way.
Do not babysit again. Do not make it easy for them to not include you.
NTA. Whether you would have wanted to go or not was your decision, not theirs. What they did was cruel and exclusionary, and they simply chose to use you instead of allow you to be a part of your own family.
Next you have to determine whether this originates with a cousin or cousins or with your sisters.
Your dad is a hero.
Never babysit for these traitors again.
OP:
***4 months ago, you were 19 yrs old*** with 2 sisters: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1mkvhow/aita\_for\_not\_telling\_my\_sister\_the\_real\_reason\_i/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1mkvhow/aita_for_not_telling_my_sister_the_real_reason_i/)
***Here you have 8 siblings***: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1mkvhow/comment/n7lzln5/?context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1mkvhow/comment/n7lzln5/?context=3)
Here you state that “*because I am usually who sends out texts to invite people*” and that “*I sent a message in the family group chat*” and “*I see my siblings all the time, at least 3 times a week. And I go out with my sisters with them*.” [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1m40lgu/comment/n41o79z/?context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1m40lgu/comment/n41o79z/?context=3)
I’m confused how you earlier state you tend to do the inviting and coordinating, then suddenly you are excluded from outings?
Judgement pending on reply. Thanks.
You’re NTA
>But my sisters brushed it off and told me I “wouldn’t have wanted to go anyway” since my cousins are older than me.
They could have let you make the decision about whether you wanted to go.
It takes a royal asshole to exclude one person from an event then have the nerve to ask her to baby-sit during the event.
So y they believe you to be social enough and ok enough to watch their kids but not to be even invited out to an adult hang out.
I’m not even sure what you’re weighing on being a ahole. You didn’t do anything wrong here except maybe stay and watch those kids, I would’ve kindly gathered my things and left
NTA. Your sisters are using you as a babysitter so they can have an outing with your cousins. They are excluding you and I would not put up with it. They don’t get to decide whether you would have a good time or not, that is your decision to make and they never offered you the chance to say you didn’t want to go. I would not be babysitting for any of your sisters in the future and tell them they exclude you and so you won’t babysit any longer.
NTA. What your sisters did is inexcusable I’m sorry that happened to you. I wouldn’t not babysit for them again.
Be upset. They are using you. Your response should have been…oh I can’t keep the kids now. Don’t be an a hole next time. You are NTA. You deserve better.