This morning my mom broke my mug before I woke up and came in to say she broke it when she poured something in.
I was obviously disappointed because the mug has been discontinued for production and could only be bought on the second hand market, instead of apologizing, she says “If you treasure something, you should use it less” and left the house.
I was absolutely upset at that response and after 3 hours I called her to tell her how I felt about it and she stated “I am not blaming you, I am just saying you should take care of things you value” but I did not break the mug and reiterated it wasn’t I who broke the thing I cherish. So she sarcastically say “I’m sorry, oh I’m soooo sorry you feel better now?!” and I responded no because it felt insincere and a means to an end and how it was not reflecting on what she did. She then cuts me off and says we will discuss this another time.
Frustrated I hung up the phone mid sentence on that and I know that was rude and reflected on that in a text right after I did that but in the moment I was very angry.
Am I the asshole for being upset at how she responded to me about the mug?
Since it seems I have to reiterate: AITA for being upset at my moms comment after breaking the mug instead of apologizing for breaking the mug.
since people asked: No, there was no extra context she literally said this as I was in bed this morning
The mug was not bought second hand this was a mug I bought from an official shop
She did not divulge how she broke the mug, just came in and said she broke the mug and ”If you treasure something, you should use it less”
When I called back it was not at a time where she and I were both busy and was as convenient a time as possible to discuss
Yes, it was said to me in person and the sarcastic apology was on the phone after I called her 3 hrs later when I was more emotionally calm and trying to explain how her response made me feel
No the mug has never been broken or glued back together before, it is a perfectly useable and durable mug that was fine even the night prior
I was woken up to her telling me she broke my mug and the comment “If you treasure something, you should use it less“
My response when she told me was of disappointment in the moment and only escalated at the second part of her response where I was frustrated with mixed emotions after she left
NTA. It’s good that you were not upset with your mother for breaking the mug. Accidents happen and we’re all human and make mistakes. You are upset with your mother, however, for not taking accountability and being a bit more apologetic in her mistake. In fact, she went as far to blame you for breaking it, which is very unfair.
NTA. Breaking something that belongs to you and then blaming you for “using” it is wild. It’s just a mug, but it’s her response to breaking it that is upsetting.
NTA – is this usually how your mom deflects responsibility and does she usually have a hard time acknowledging/apologizing for mistakes she’s made? Sounds like a 3 year old, not a grown woman and definitely not a mother behaving like that. Your emotions are fully valid.
It’s amazing to me how many people are walking around in grown up bodies who can’t take responsibility for their choices or actions – which is my definition of being an adult. Not the fact that you managed to cling to the planet for 18 plus years.
NTA. Unless there’s more context here, it’s weird that your mom would act utterly unremorseful about that, and completely dissociate herself from responsibility.
Plus doubling down by making a completely sarcastic non-apology. NTA op. Also unless the mug was fresh out of the freezer (where you don’t typically keep mugs) and the liquid was hot, she did not break it simply by pouring something into it which is what it’s for.
Nta she’s doing whatever she can to shift the blame from herself. Covert narc behavior
NTA sorry your mum is though
I had a beloved mug that got broken long after it was out of production. Fortunately, I was able to find it for sale (Good, Used) on Mercari. It was in perfect condition, just dusty like someone had bought it and never used it.
But honestly, yeah, the only way to preserve something you love is to never use it, then what’s the point? Using stuff puts it at risk. And I still use my replacement beloved mug.
NTA, your mom sounds like a lovely woman /s
NTA,
I am a mother and If I broke my kids favorite mug, I would say “darling, I am sorry I broke your item, I have( already ordered a replacement/started looking for a replacement) I am so sorry, I have made your favorite morning drink in another cup, and delivered it to you in bed, so i could apologize. again totally sorry” then make sure i ordered that replacement cup because WTF is her reaction ….shit. I have a favorite cup, it’s discontinued. my family has 3 back ups, that they think I don’t know about. Because thats a small thing, im sorry your mom sucks op.
So, your mom broke your mug because you used it too much? That’s what she’s saying. She broke your mug on purpose, because you use it too much for her.
NTA. Your mom certainly is.
I think you should treasure your mother and be around her less.
So she used your mug and broke it then told you not to use things you cherish? You weren’t using it…
Man, this reminds me of the quote- “you don’t have to be the perfect parent, you just have to get up every morning and try not the be the worst.”
I have a feeling this isn’t the first time she’s pulled something like this and won’t be the last.